


Mosaic Broken Hearts - Part I - Her

by AnxiousCupcake



Series: Mosaic Broken Hearts [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Reality, Drama, Friendship, Mild Angst, Nalu - Freeform, Post Edolas, Slow Burn, nalu endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-10-29 06:16:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20792009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousCupcake/pseuds/AnxiousCupcake
Summary: Returning from Edolas, Lucy sees a big shift in her life. Heartbroken at first about Natsu and Lisanna rekindling their romance, she gets too caught up in her own head with her insecurities. She takes a step back and decides that she had to move on. She tries to move on but there are some unforeseen reactions from Natsu that throw her further into turmoil as she looks for love elsewhere.





	1. Return from Edolas

**Author's Note:**

> Idk this was just a thought I had partly because I got tired of reading fics where Lisanna is shown as a bitch; she's such a sweetheart :( NaLu endgame obviously, but it'll come with time because a certain someone is, as per character, dense.

* * *

**PART I - HER**

* * *

_ **Chapter 1: Return From Edolas** _

* * *

Natsu asking Lisanna out when she came home felt like the natural order of things. It had been the day after she’d come back, and no one in the guild was surprised when Natsu had walked in to the guild one day, arm thrown over a blushing Lisanna’s shoulder, before he declared that they were dating. There were cheers and everything. Lucy cheered, but not as whole-heartedly as she wished she could have. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t seen it coming, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. She didn’t blame anyone of course, it was nobody's fault but her own that she got carried away with her feelings, all wrapped up inside her own head.She had been so sure that there was… _ something _ between them. 

_ Apparently not. _

_ That was okay. _

_ It had to be. _

And then the two of them had walked over to where she was sitting and sat across her. She noticed how he didn’t let go of Lisanna’s hand even once, and she hated herself for it. She didn’t want to be _ that _person, flinching every time they touched. It didn’t help that everyone hovered over them all the time these days, all wanting some time with Lisanna.

She didn’t envy all the attention Lisanna was getting. She couldn’t, and didn’t hold it against her friends that they were happy. It did make her feel invisible sometimes, but she couldn’t hold it against them. The sense of isolation and abandonment had crept in, despite her best attempt at fighting it off. It came when she felt herself having to make space for people who wanted to join them, edging further and further away from her friends. It came when they went on this one mission on which Lisanna had come along, and she could sense the familiarity between the teammates; it made her feel like an outsider. It came when Natsu didn’t sneak into her apartment as often anymore, and the few times he did, he didn’t stay for as long.

She knew it was too much to ask, but the glaring changes she could sense, made her uneasy. No matter how hard she tried to fight it, the feeling wouldn’t go away. It made her want to run away, because she hated that this feeling was familiar. It was the same as what she’d felt before she’d run away from home. The circumstances were different, way different, but she found herself unable to think anymore. 

Despite it all, she didn’t resent Lisanna, not one bit. _ At all. _It wasn’t her fault that people were happy she was alive. It wasn’t her fault that the people who loved her, who were heartbroken when she’d thought she died, were so happy that she was alive. It was nothing short of a miracle. She knew she’d give anything for her mother to come back to her. 

If anything, she resented herself for feeling this way. It made her feel guilty and selfish. She’d never imagined she’d be in a position like this. It was so new to her, the mix of emotions she was feeling made her want to not get out of bed. She wanted to be able to think. 

Struggling to find clarity within her own head, she found that she had less to say everyday. She got quiet, and wanted quiet around her. She started to eat faster, trying to finish her meals as quickly as possible and get away from the din of conversation around her. She was so caught up in her own head that she didn’t recognise that her friends noticed, nor the concerned looks they exchanged as she downed her food before darting out of the guild on the pretext of work. 

The one time she had chosen to sit at another table altogether, Natsu had wordlessly left where he was eating, walked over to where she had started sit to grab her elbow and bring her back to where everyone else ate. No words were exchanged as Lucy stared at her friends as they looked at her questioningly. 

Feeling the guilt start to eat her up again, she shrugged with a half-hearted smile. “I didn’t see you guys.”

Unconvinced, they went back to their meals but didn’t pry. Natsu narrowed his eyes at her, a small frown on his face and unable to stand the awkward tension anymore, Lucy cut him off. “The stew is great don’t you think?”

Lisanna smiled proudly. “Mira does make the best stew.”

“She sure does,” said Lucy, chuckling, hoping to diffuse… _ whatever _that was. 

She succeeded but only because everyone thought that it was best to let it go for now. They could hear the strain when she just tried laughing. Thankful that no one said anything again, she finished her lunch in peace, as peaceful as she could be at least, trying to listen in to whatever her friends were talking about now.

But her mind wandered...

She still couldn’t shake that feeling of suffocation; she needed some… space to gather her thoughts. She needed to talk herself down because she was going to end up pushing away her friends this way. She knew they cared for her, but she couldn’t manage to get a grip on her thoughts. More than anything, she just wanted to stop being her own enemy. It felt silly some to her sometimes, the way she was reacting. It made no sense for her to get this worked up. And here she was anyway…

All she wanted was one moment of clarity.

And so that evening, she took off on a solo job without telling any of her teammates. 

* * *

Erza stood in front of the job board, a job pamphlet in her hand. “This is perfect for us,” she announced to Natsu and Gray, and then frowned. “Where’s Lucy?”

“I haven’t seen her all morning,” said Natsu, mirroring Erza’s frown. 

“We shall go to her house and find her then,” said Erza, tucking the pamphlet into her belt and about to lead the way to Lucy’s house.

“No, she was here,” said Natsu again, his frown deepening. “I can smell her scent. She was here…”

Gray looked around, before grunting. “Any of you notice she’s been acting weird lately?”

“Yeah she hasn’t screamed at me in ages,” said Natsu, pouting and Erza nodded in agreement. “I haven’t heard her say a thing to Happy either.”

Natsu was about to add something when Mira came by, humming a soft tune, to look at the board. 

“Planning to take a quest, Mira?” asked Erza, smiling at the silver-haired mage, who had been in better spirits than she’d seen in a long time.

“Yeah, it’s been a while!” said Mira. “Lis, Elfman and I were thinking of going on one. Just the three of us. It’s been so long,” she sighed happily. 

“Oh, yeah, Lisanna told me about it last evening,” nodded Natsu. “She hasn’t had magic practice for two years now, so go easy on her,” he said wryly.

Mira chuckled. “Of course, don’t worry. We’ll get you your girlfriend back in one piece.”

_ Girlfriend. _Though it had nearly been a week since he’d asked her out, it still felt… strange that Lisanna was his girlfriend. Perhaps it was a matter of getting used to. It was not everyday that the dead turn out to be, well, not so dead.

“Are you three headed off on a job as well?” asked Mira, as she finally decided on a job and grabbed a flyer.

“We found the perfect one,” nodded Erza. “We’re just looking for Lucy before we head out.”

“Lucy?” asked Mira, looking up, surprise clear on her face. “She went on a solo mission this morning. She was the first one in today.”

"_Lucy _ went on a _ solo mission _?” asked Gray disbelievingly, knowing how she detested those.

“I’m sorry, I thought she would have told you,” said Mira, brows knitting in concern. 

The three of them exchanged looks, worried. Sensing the tension, Mira continued. “I wouldn’t worry, it was a fairly simple job. She should be back by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Shall we wait for her then?” asked Erza, waving the flyer as she looked at her teammates, both of who nodded sombrely. 

This was so unlike Lucy. She would never just go off like that, especially not on solo missions. At least not without telling one of them.

* * *

The job had been simple enough. It had only taken her a couple of hours to finish it. For the first time, that was disappointing. She needed more time to sort through her thoughts and feelings. She hated feeling sad, and hated that she felt the need to isolate herself from her friends when how she was feeling was not on them, along with the guilt she felt over the way she was feeling. Then there was the fact that it hurt to look at Natsu, and it just wasn’t fair to her, him or her friends. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that she had imagined something and got too caught up in her own head. 

She stopped walking, pausing to admire the sunset. The job was over, but there was no harm in spending a night here, was there? This was a small village and she was sure staying her was something she could easily afford. She did have rent to pay, but she’d just take more jobs next week to make up for her indulgences today. She needed it.

And so she retraced her steps, going back to the street of the village that ran along the beach to look for an inn. _ Blue Sand Inn. _It looked quaint, with white walls and blue trimmings around the windows. 

_ Well, this is the one. _

The inn was the prettiest she’d ever been in. When she saw the Blue Pegasus guildmark on the decor, it made sense, and being from Fairy Tail had worked to her advantage when she was offered complimentary breakfast the next morning and a discounted lunch owing to the alliance between the two guilds. A gesture of goodwill, the receptionist had called it.

Lucy couldn’t have been happier. She’d saved more money than she’d thought she would, and she was already considering staying there another night because she could afford it now. Pleased at the idea, she sat at the window seat of her apartment, gazing out at the beach. The water was dark, shimmering in the moonlight and she inhaled the salt-tinted air deeply. 

She could stay here forever. Away from… _ everything. _

In the back of her mind, a voice was telling her once again that she was making a big deal out of nothing. But her insecurities… damn, they were hard to get past. She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck and willing herself to focus on the way the moonbeams glinted off the inky blue water of the sea.

She was considering writing a little something when there was a knock on her door. Wary, she walked slowly to the door, a small frown on her face as she wondered who it could possibly be. 

_ Room service? _

_ But I didn’t order anything. _

When she finally opened the door, she was very surprised. “Hibiki!”

“Lucy! Hey!” he said, smiling at her. “I was stopping by here to check how things were going and the receptionist told me someone from Fairy Tail was here and I thought I'd drop by and say hi!" he paused, slightly awkward. "So, er, hi!"

Lucy chuckled softly, amused. "Hi!"

"It's good to see you," said Hibiki, now looking somewhat sheepish.

“It’s good to see you too!” said Lucy, smiling at him. And she meant it. It was nice, being with a friend that was very removed from the non-situation ‘situation’ she was in. 

“Have you had your dinner yet?”

Lucy’s eyes widened in realization. “Now that you mention it… No, I haven’t.”

Hibiki hesitated for a second, before asking her. “Would you… care to join me for dinner? We have a rooftop restaurant,” he added. 

“That does sound nice,” she admitted, biting her lower lip thoughtfully, and then looking up at him she shrugged, a small smile on her lips. There possibly couldn’t be any harm in trying to make new friends, right? “You know what, why not. Let’s go!”

Hibiki smiled back at her and was about to lead the way when she frowned, remembering that this was a Blue Pegasus establishment. “Can I come like this? In my pajamas, or do I need to change?”

Hibiki chuckled. “Well, the restaurant does have a formal dress code. _ But _ seeing as you’re _ my _ guest, I don’t think anyone will say anything.”

“Perfect,” said Lucy as she stepped out of her room, closing the door behind her. 

It was strange, seeing Hibiki like this. There was a certain ease to his demeanour. She thought back to the time when he had tried to help her with the Orecion Seis during their fight against Nirvana. She realized that when he was by himself, he was much easier to be around, less obnoxious, more friendly than flirty. It was nice…


	2. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I hope you guys don't get mad that I'm getting too much into the characters' heads. I am just trying to sort of show how she was struggling between parallel trains of thought, something I struggle with myself. Basically the struggle of duality in thought. Kind of like… you believe something because it seems that way vs what you know vs the guilt of what you believe in. Idk if I'm making sense but um.. that's what it is 🙈

* * *

_ **Chapter 2: Clarity** _

* * *

_ Hey Mom! _

_ I’m sorry for writing to you after so long, but I’ve been struggling with things. I wish I could talk to you right now. But despite everything, now I’m sitting by the window and feeling the sea breeze; I feel like things might just be okay. _

_ I had a good time last night. After many days, I felt good. I had dinner with Hibiki (he’s a member of the Blue Pegasus guild and we already do know each other, but this is the first time I’m meeting him outside of “work”.  _

_ If I’m being honest, I didn’t think Hibiki could be so sweet. I should’ve known better than to judge, but he’s full of surprises. I was half expecting him to make a lewd remark about… well  _ something _ , but he did not. He also surprised me by having waffles for dinner; he really doesn’t seem the kind to have breakfast food for dinner. _

_ I also felt at ease after a long time. He listened while I babbled, not asking me to shut up even once. And I could tell he was listening to me carefully because he also kept asking me questions. Which is surprising, given that he can just access any information he wants about me. Not a single interruption. It felt good to be doing the talking and have someone listen. _

_ Well… now that makes me feel guilty. My friends aren’t the kind who don’t listen. They do. And I think what I’m afraid of is that they might just be a little too insightful. I feel ashamed for the way I feel and I’m scared they’ll know. And that could either make them hate me or worse, hurt them. I don’t want either.  _

_ I like it here. I think I should stay here a while. Maybe. _

Lucy folded the letter carefully and slid it into her backpack, mentally making a note to remember to put it in that little chest where she kept her letters to her mother. Her heart ached a little; she could really talk to her mother right now. Which reminded her that she should visit her father soon. It had been a while, and he was bound to be worried about her. She would’ve doubted it a couple of months ago, but her hopes had been up since she’d last met her father at Love and Lucky. 

_ I’ll visit him _ , she thought determinedly.

She walked over to the bed and slid under the covers, letting the sound of the splashing waves lull her to sleep.

* * *

Lucy woke up the next morning, feeling really good. Last night had been refreshing. It had offered reprieve from the constant flow of nasty thoughts that she couldn’t seem to ward off. Once again, she considered staying here another night.  _ Wouldn’t hurt, right? _

A few minutes later, she put on the same outfit she’d had last evening, having had it cleaned and delivered this morning. If she was to stay another night, clothes would be a problem; she’d hardly packed for one day let alone two nights. Deciding she had till at least this evening to make that decision, she left for breakfast. 

Breakfast, to her pleasant surprise, was served in a cordoned off area on the beach itself. Plate in hand, she opted to sit on the sand instead of at the tables to one side of the are, digging her toes into the warm sand. 

Chewing on her pancakes, she wondered what her guildmates were up to as she gazed out at the sea. She wondered if anyone would notice she was gone. She sighed. Of course, they would notice she was gone and they wouldn’t make much of it. She’d just taken a job, a simple one at that. She concluded that she was, in fact, being a little harsh on her friends. They didn’t  _ not  _ care about her anymore; it wasn’t like that. 

“Sleep alright, Lucy?” came a voice from next to her, making her jump. She turned to see that Hibiki had joined her, munching on some fruit as he settled on the sand next to her. 

“Good morning,” she said smiling. “And I slept like a baby, thank you for asking.”

Hibiki nodded. “Good to hear that.” Pause. “If… you don’t mind me asking, what the hell happened to Magnolia?”

Lucy frowned and looked at him questioningly.

“Well, a couple of weeks ago Master Bob wanted to ask Master Makarov for help but when he didn’t get a response, he sent Ren and….” he trailed away, when he saw understanding cross Lucy’s face.

_ That’s right, _ she thought.  _ The entire town had just vanished.  _

“Right…” she said, debating whether or not it was something that was to be revealed. She looked at Hibiki, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity. 

_ Maybe there was no harm… _

“I…” she started, trying to speed up the debate in her head when Hibiki cut her off. 

“Hey, it’s okay if it’s something you can’t tell me,” he said earnestly. “I was just worried. We all were.”

“Oh,” was all she said, as she started to relax, then looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry. I just don’t  _ know  _ if I should say anything because things were-”

“It’s okay, Lucy, I mean it,” said Hibiki again. “It’s magic stuff. Not all of it can be good and some things are just… best kept a secret. I’m just glad you guys are okay,” he said shrugging. 

Lucy smiled at him, grateful for not pushing further. 

“So, was this your first solo mission?” asked Hibiki after a couple of minutes. 

Lucy blinked at him, trying to quell the sudden sadness that was threatening to take over her. “Yeah,” she muttered softly.

“I take it it went well?” he asked, cocking his head at her. 

She chuckled lightly. “Well it was pretty easy from the start,” she said, shrugging.

They talked away the rest of the morning, parting ways briefly to bathe and change for lunch at a quaint little cafe that Hibiki was sure Lucy would love. During lunch, Hibiki promised to show her some of the best places to visit in the town. He mentioned that there was great hiking route that led to a hilltop, and was the best viewpoint in the town for a sunset. 

Lucy was up for it until Hibiki got a little thoughtful. “Hey, wait, aren’t you leaving this evening?”

“Oh, right,” said Lucy sheepishly, still indecisive. She knew she was being an escapist, and that she was running away. It just wasn’t healthy.

“That’s a shame,” said Hibiki, smiling a little bit, looking doleful. “We’ll just have to skip the hike then. We won’t be able to make it back in time for you to be able to leave at a reasonable hour.”

“I… I suppose… I can stay another night,” she conceded.  _ Darn it.  _ Truth be told, she wanted to stay away, run as long as she could. At least till she figured some things out and could get her emotions and thoughts under control. “For the sunset!” she added, giggling as Hibiki looked at her excitedly. 

“Alright! Then we should hurry so we’ll catch it!”

_ Half a day extra wouldn’t hurt, right? _

* * *

Erza’s eyes narrowed as she watched the sun set. Natsu pacing up and down Lucy’s living room was not helping her calm her nerves. 

“She was supposed to be back by now,” she said to no one in particular. She doesn’t get a response and she wasn’t expecting one.

Gray was quiet, brooding as he sat cross legged on the chair by Lucy’s desk, elbow on his knee and face resting in his hand.

The three of them had let themselves into Lucy’s apartment a couple of hours ago, waiting for her to get back. That way, they could discuss the job Erza had picked for them immediately; at least that’s what they told themselves. All the three of them were worried about their friend. Being here, in her apartment, made them realize that they hadn’t actually seen much of her lately. The realization didn’t do anything to satiate their worry.

It was troubling. 

“Maybe we are overreacting,” muttered Gray at last. 

Natsu stopped his pacing to exchange a look with Erza, who had turned around and was now leaning against the window. 

“I mean, come on, guys,” continued Gray. “She went on a solo mission. So what,  _ we _ do it all the time!”

“Yes, but we let each other know,” frowned Erza.

“Maybe she just forgot,” piped in Natsu uneasily.

“It makes sense for  _ Natsu  _ to forget,” she said pointedly, ignoring indignant looks from him. “Lucy would at least leave a note. Like the time she went to see her father.”

An uncomfortable silence fell on the group. 

“We wait till tomorrow evening,” declared Erza finally. “If she isn’t home we go looking for her.”

“She’s going to get mad about that,” mumbled Natsu. “She likes handling things herself, ya know?

“Well,  _ I’m  _ mad now.  _ And  _ worried,” grumbled Erza. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning, with or without you.”

“I want to come,” said Gray firmly.

“Me too,” agreed Natsu, worry gnawing at him. 

* * *

_ Hey Mom! _

_ I decided to stay after all! It’s my second night here and I am glad I decided to stay. I am ready to go home now! It’s somewhat unexpected that the clarity I wanted, I found here, in this small town. The mission of taking up behind this job accomplished, I suppose.  _

_ As I watched the sun set today, from the viewpoint Hibiki took me to, it was just ocean waves as far as I could see. The sunset might just have been the most beautiful one I’ve seen in my life. Being at a higher vantage point probably made it better, because in that moment, I felt like my senses were on overdrive. The breeze, the smell of the salt and the faint scent of coconuts, the birds…  _

_ I want to live and do things I’ve always loved doing. I want to learn more magic, and get better. I want to write my novel.  _

_ And honestly… _

_ I’m young. This is my first heartbreak. That’s all this is. My very first heartbreak. It’s not the end of the world. I’ve been pushing my friends away over this, though they gave me a family when I was alone. I realised today that I’ve been doing to them exactly what Dad did to me. I don’t want to do that anymore over my feelings for… Him.  _

_ I know it’s not going to just miraculously get better now and it won’t not ache when I see him with her. My feelings for him won’t just go away, obviously, but I need to be able to see beyond this. I want to be able to move forward. If not him, there’s bound to be someone else. There has to be. I need to believe that for this to work.  _

_ I’m still feeling hurt, and somewhat upset. I know that my sense of loneliness will not just go away. But I have to try. I’ll be back to Magnolia tomorrow, wish me luck! _

_ I wish you were here.  _

_ Love,   
_ _ Lucy. _

* * *

On her way back to Magnolia, Lucy found herself smiling genuinely for the first time in days. She closed her eyes, letting the rays from the setting sun warm her face as she started to feel excited about going back home and seeing all her friends again. She did not allow the thought of seeing Natsu again dampen her newfound happiness; all said and done, he was still her best friend and she had decided she would be happy for him. Happy that the girl he loved was alive and well, happy that he didn’t have a broken heart like hers. It made her eyes tear up a little, but that was okay. 

She knew she’d get over it.

With that thought, she slipped into a pleasant nap and was woken by the loud sound of the train whistle as it pulled up at Magnolia station. 

She hopped off the train, happy and ready for the day, hoping that she could go out on a job with the team. The  _ whole  _ team. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to go on a job with just Natsu yet.  _ And that’s okay _ , she told herself. As she started to walk towards the exit, she heard a familiar voice call out her name and she turned in the direction to see three pairs of eyes looking at her, all carrying a similar mixture of worry and anger. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh was that a little weird? A little…corny? [ I promise the rest of the fic won’t be this corny ] Idk but I have the weirdest epiphanies while I’m smack in the middle of nature so I just had Lucy have her moment of “clarity” then. For me it came because I’d realise how insignificant my issues were in the bigger scheme of things and it helped ease my sense of worry and burden.
> 
> I have a feeling some of you may not like where this is going but I beg you to please be a little patient. It will get real exciting, dramatic and angsty soon. Ish. I hope I don't irritate you all off this story.


	3. Comfort Zone

* * *

_Chapter 3: Comfort Zone_

* * *

Natsu, Erza and Gray waited impatiently for the train to draw into the station. They were definitely peak agitated right now, and they hadn’t heard a word from their friend who was supposed to return yesterday afternoon. 

“It’s coming,” muttered Natsu, as he heard the train in the distance, already apprehensive about the long journey to the town near which Lucy had taken the job. But of course, that was trivial considering what they needed to board the train for.

The train drew nearer and… _ Wait a minute. _

His head perked up as he sniffed harder, and then saying, “Huh” really loudly, drawing Gray and Erza’s attention as they turn to look at him questioningly. 

“She’s in there,” he said, nodding his head towards the train that had just pulled into the station. 

“Are you sure?” asked Erza, immediately on alert. 

“The nose never lies,” said Natsu, shrugging, now turning his head to catch a stronger whiff of his friend, and then heading in the direction. Erza and Gray followed suit, and stopped right behind Natsu, in front of a coach.

A familiar blonde head stepped out of the coach, a self-satisfied smile on her face. They watched as she hopped off the coach, standing on the platform a little thoughtful. Her eyebrows were starting to knit with worry, before she shook her head a little and nodded to herself. She started to head for the exit, when Natsu finally called for her. Her head whipped around, searching the crowd till her eyes finally landed on them. She looked confused for a moment before her face brightened and she rushed towards them, waving her hands. 

“Hi, guys!” she said, as she crashed into Erza to give her a quick hug and drew back. “Looks like I caught you just in time for the next job. Mind if I tag along?”

“A job? We’re not going on a _job_,” said Erza slowly, watching Lucy as she stepped back, confused. “We were about to set out to look for _ you _.”

Lucy recoiled at the sharp words, starting to feel her heart hammer against her chest in panic. Erza is about to say something else but Natsu beats her to it. “Where the _ hell _have you been!” he asks, almost in Lucy’s face, towering over her.

“I….” she started to say, feeling small suddenly as she started to draw back a little, worrying her lower lip as she looked at the floor. “Job…”

“You were supposed to be back, _ yesterday _,” Natsu scowled, his arms now crossed as he glared at her. 

“Well, yeah,” said Lucy, as she tore her gaze away from the floor, carefully avoiding Natsu’s glare, to look at Gray and Erza, only to see that they both looked wary and even angry. “I… It was a nice town. So I stayed a night. I don’t understand what the-”

“You left without saying a thing!” says Natsu angrily. “And then, you didn’t come back on time! We were worried sick!"

“I just… I was tired...I- just... I needed a break, alright?” said Lucy, looking flustered when her friends looked at her, confused.

“A break?” asked Erza, anger vanishing instantly as she looked at her friend with concern. “Lucy, is everything alright?”

“Y-Yes,” stuttered Lucy, willing herself not to look at Natsu as she struggled to keep her eyes on Erza. “I… Just… Edolas… Was a lot. I needed… to get….. Away,” she finished lamely. 

Her friends looked at her unconvinced, and Natsu was about to say something when Gray sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You coulda at least told us…” he mumbled.

Lucy fell silent, trying to come up with something to say. She wanted to defend herself, explain her situation and how she needed to get away from everyone. But there was no way; now wasn’t the time to say something like that without an explanation and she just wasn’t ready. She finally looked at Natsu, who was still glaring at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh. “I just saw the job and it was so interesting so I just took off...I didn’t think.”

“Yeah, you didn’t,” muttered Natsu, tearing his gaze away from her.

“Natsu,” said Lucy pleadingly. “I’m sorry, I worried you. I really am.”

When he didn’t say anything, Lucy let out a strained chuckle before looking at everyone else. “I… I’ll make you all a dessert of your choice as an apology?” she offered.

“A dozen blueberry muffins,” said Gray, looking up at her with a small smile. 

“A whole strawberry cheesecake for me,” said Erza, eyes glinting.

Pause. “_ Fine. _ But I want _ two _batches of chocolate chip cookies,” grumbled Natsu.

Lucy nodded hurriedly, agreeing to all their terms, feeling somewhat relieved now.

“Well, that’s sorted then,” said Erza, pleased with herself. She pulled a crumpled piece of flyer from her pocket and showed it to Lucy. “We were waiting for you to come back so we could go on this…”

“Count me in!” exclaimed Lucy with excitement as her eyes skimmed over the reward. It would easily compensate for the extra indulgences of the past couple of days.

* * *

They were having their dinner at an inn after their mission, and well, Natsu was talking about Lisanna. Lucy kept a tight smile on her face as she summoned all her willpower not to make an excuse and leave the table. She might as well get used to this. So she sat there, trying to listen to him, but mostly tuning things out, because the fact that she hadn’t fled in itself was a great achievement for now. She’d eventually participate in this conversation; she knew it. A smile plastered on her face as she nodded and mirrored her reactions in accordance to Erza’s or Gray’s, but mostly Erza’s because Gray was being snide, as usual. 

_ Putting myself out of my comfort zone is the best way out of this. _

Dinner done, Lucy heaved a sigh of relief as she trudged upstairs to her room. She’d made it. It wasn’t so hard, but she could do it. It was a better place to be in than she’d been in over a week ago. It hurt somewhat less. 

_ Good. _

The room was small and cosy. She went straight to the window and sat by it to watch the stars when she felt a warm pulse of energy, followed by a bright flash of golden light. 

“Hey, Loke,” she said, smiling at him as he sat across her.

“You seem happier,” he noted quietly, and she nodded. 

“I just needed some time to… process some things. I’m okay now.”

“Good,” said Loke, before pausing and sighing. “You know, if you just said something-”

“What, _ no way _,” exclaimed Lucy turning to Loke. “He has something good going on with Lisanna. And I… I don’t want to lose a friend over something as trivial as this.”

He’d known for some time now; rather, he’d sensed it quite a while ago and when he confronted Lucy, she hadn’t argued. Just a sigh of acceptance. He wanted to help but he knew being quiet about issues didn’t make them go away; he had stayed quiet about Karen’s treatment of his friends and of Aries for quite some time, but it was only when he’d said something that they were all able to move forward. It had resulted in Karen’s death, and led to his banishment but… all said and done, it was _ forward. _If he’d said nothing, he would still be the frustrated, tortured celestial spirit with bitterness against his gatekeeper. 

“It’s not trivial,” argued Loke. “If you don’t say something-”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” said Lucy shrugging nonchalantly. “It’s better for everyone this way.”

Loke grunted. “You should tell him. It’s the only way forward.”

“No,” said Lucy firmly. “Telling him anything… I have no idea how he’ll react. It’s… safer this way.”

Loke started to say something again when Lucy shook her head vehemently. “Loke, you can’t convince me. It’ll all blow over if I just wait long enough. There’s no way I’m telling him anything. _ Ever _. And if-”

“Who aren’t you telling anything ever?” asked Natsu, his head suddenly popping up from the window she was sitting at. She scrambled backward with a squeak, hand over her heart. 

“Use the door, Natsu!” she shrieked, heart beating quickly as she swallowed nervously. “We’re at an _ inn _ , they’ll think you’re some thief. Just… _ use the freakin’ door _.”

As Natsu hopped into the room and dusted himself off. “Jeez, calm down will you? This is only the first floor and no one will know.”

She sighed frustratedly, looking at Loke, who looked like he was both annoyed and amused. 

“So? What was that about? Who are you hiding secrets from this time?”

Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She looked at Loke for help with pleading eyes, who shook his head before mumbling. “Celestial Spirit World business.”

“Huh?” asked Natsu, cocking his head.

“It’s… something I can’t discuss with you,” said Lucy quickly. “Or anyone. Celestial Wizard confidentiality and contract stuff, sorry,” she babbled, making Loke’s eyes go wide at the nonsense she was spewing. No way Natsu was buying that. 

“Oh, okay,” he shrugged. Well. _ Way. _

“Well, bye, Princess. The conversation isn’t over,” he said pointedly before disappearing in a flash of light. 

Lucy groaned, running a hand over her face before turning to Natsu with tired eyes. “What do you want?”

Natsu plopped down on the bed, leaning against the headboard casually. “Well, we haven’t really hung out together much and… well, I missed ya.”

Her gaze softened as she went to sit next to him, making sure to put a carefully measured distance between them. It doesn’t go unnoticed by him but he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he asked her about her mission. Save from a shaky start, Lucy excitedly told him about everything, but she didn’t know why she was carefully avoiding talking about having hung out with Hibiki; she had no idea why the thought of telling him made her nervous, and so she didn’t. 

Soon, Lucy felt her awkwardness slip out of her mind, and it almost felt like old times again. She breathed deeply as an idea came to her, and she repeated her mantra to herself.

_ Putting myself out of my comfort zone is the best way out of this. _

It was the only way. She had to be comfortable over this. “So, how are things with Lisanna?” she asked, trying to keep her voice light with the hint of a teasing tone in it. The words tumbled out and she held her breath for a few seconds testily. There. Her gaze had glazed over and she wasn’t really looking at him anymore. She composed herself and wondered if she was imagining the heavy tension in the air because of the question. Of course she was. It felt like minutes had passed as all this transpired in her head, but she knew it was merely seconds because when, finally she looked at Natsu, he was looking at her with a somewhat unreadable expression.

“Things are… good,” he says slowly and when she quirked her brows at him, he gave her a small smile. “Yeah, they’re good as they can be.”

“Okay,” she says unsurely. “That’s good. I’m happy for you, Natsu,” she said, touching his hand gently.

“Thanks,” he said, grinning lightly. Pause. “Can we talk about something else?”

And so it went on. As she slipped into bed that night, she smiled at the ceiling. 

_ See? That wasn’t so bad. _

* * *

The next evening, Lucy was scribbling away in her journal in the furthest corner of the guild when she felt someone slide into the seat opposite hers. “Hey.”

She looked up and her eyes widened in surprise. “Hibiki! Hi!” she said excitedly, standing up to give him half a hug across the table in the form of a greeting. 

“What brings you to this side of town?” she asked him, as she sat back down in her seat. 

“Master Bob needed me to deliver a package to Master Makarov,” said Hibiki. “Just some updated information on the Baram Alliance.”

Lucy quirked her brow with interest, leaning forward with curiosity. Hibiki did the same, elbow on the table with his face resting in his propped up hand as he told her what he knew. The two were so deeply engrossed in conversation that they hadn’t noticed Natsu slide into the seat next to Lucy. 

“Hibiki? What’re you doing here?” asked Natsu, staring at Hibiki with confusion, snapping both Hibiki and Lucy out of their conversation. 

As Hibiki repeated why he was here, Natsu nodded in understanding but frowned slightly as he looked back and forth between them, remembering that the two had been talking before he had arrived. 

“Is gramps not in his office?” asked Natsu, tilting his head curiously

“Oh, well, he is,” said Hibiki confused. “Why do you ask?”

_ Then why are you still here? _

But Natsu doesn’t say that. Instead he shook his head and shrugged nonchalantly, just as Happy flew to them to perch on Natsu’s shoulder. “No reason,” he said, earning an odd look from Lucy.

“Well, I better get going,” said Hibiki, stealing a look at Lucy, whose attention was now back on Hibiki. 

“Already? Come on, you only just got here!” insisted Lucy, now earning an odd look from Natsu in turn. 

Hibiki looked at her apologetically, as he got up and slid out of the booth. “I am needed back at Blue Pegasus,” he said, dusting off his suit. 

“Well, do visit us again,” said Lucy as she got up as well, more of a polite gesture than anything, nudging Natsu’s leg with her knee so he could move to allow her to get out of the booth. He grunted, an amused look on his face now as she stumbled out quickly. She nearly tripped on the leg of the table, but Hibiki caught her hand and steadied her, making Lucy flush because she could already hear Happy’s muffled snort of laughter as Natsu stood up behind her. 

“Until next time, Lucy,” said Hibiki grinning and still not having let go of her hand, he placed a kiss right on the tip of her pink guildmark, before he finally let go. She started to blush as she drew her hand to herself and watched his retreating back as he waved a final goodbye and left guild. Her cheeks still felt warm and she was stunned. Not at Hibiki’s action, because he did corny stuff like that all the time, but more at her own reaction. She had the sudden urge to giggle but she swallowed it as she tried to make sense of what was going on in her head. It really was easy to get carried away with Hibiki’s charm, she thought somewhat amused. It was especially easier when you’d seen him outside of the whole Blue Pegasus dramatic schtick. 

Shaking her head, she turned around and yelped when she nearly ran into Natsu, who was standing right behind her, now looking down at her with amusement. 

“Since when do you like that kind of stuff?” asked Natsu, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What kind of stuff?” she asked warily, not liking the way he was looking at her right now.

“The whole curtsying, and… the whole, well, _Blue Pegasus_," he said, pausing before adding in a matter-of-fact tone. “You’re red."

Her hands flew to her cheeks. “Am not!”

“Sure,” said Natsu, grinning fully now. “_ If you say so. _”

Lucy grunted and as she slid back into the seat, she felt a soft pressure on her head and she looked up to see that Happy had landed on her head with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Lushi liiiiiiikes Hibiki,” he snorted.

“_ Shut up, cat!” _retorted Lucy, swatting at him as he flew off, laughing harder now as Natsu joined in the laughter. 

Lucy rolled her eyes at the two of them, who never got tired of teasing her over every little thing, and opening her book, continued to write, picking up where she’d left off when Hibiki had interrupted her scribblings. 

_ Putting myself out of my comfort zone is definitely helping. It’s still a little difficult watching him with her or hearing him talk about her (which he actually doesn’t very often), but I have a good feeling, Mom. This is the way it’s going to get better! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No jealous Natsu? Nope. Net yet. It’s too soon. I’m saving it for something more intense, hueuhehue.


	4. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I feel like I should clarify this... No, Natsu isn't going to have it easy in this fic. There will be some grovelling.

_ Things are a lot better now. It’s getting easier. I don’t feel the need to run away or cry when they’re together. He’s happy, and that’s good enough for me. Lisanna’s great too. I’m finding it easier to be around her, and that’s a relief because she’s the sweetest. I am considering asking her to just come along with us on a job. You know, take the whole “step out of the comfort zone” thing to a different level. _

Another job well done. The team is on their way to the railway station from their mission in the city when Lucy’s eye caught sight of the Blue Pegasus emblem and she stopped as she realized that they were in the home city of the guild. She turned to her friends, who were just a couple of yards behind her. 

“Hey, guys, maybe we should drop by the Blue Pegasus guild and say hi,” she suggested, not waiting for their response as she turned on her heel to walk towards the guild.

“Weren’t Hibiki and Ren at Fairy Tail just a couple of days ago?” asked Natsu with a grunt.

“Yeah,” said Lucy shrugging. “That’s why we should visit. They’ve dropped by whenever they had work around Magnolia, and it wouldn’t be polite if we didn’t do the same,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone, looking at Erza for backup, knowing that she was all about diplomacy and keeping up alliances. 

Erza nodded. “Lucy’s right. We’ll make a quick stop at Blue Pegasus.”

With Erza making the decision, the disgruntled boys couldn’t really refuse anymore as they followed the girls with sour faces. 

* * *

Save for the initial couple of awkward moments where they were made to dress in accordance to Blue Pegasus’s dress code, and of course, Ichiya fussing over the ladies’ _parfum_, half an hour later, they were actually having a good time at the guild. Natsu, Gray and Ren were engaged in a debate that Lucy couldn’t make head or tail of, while Erza was busy having a serious conversation with Master Bob; the girl really never took a break. She herself was having a pretty pleasant conversation with Hibiki, Eve and Riko; nothing serious, just a couple of mundane things, but it was a nice change, nonetheless. 

“Oh, and by the way, Lucy,” said Hibiki suddenly, turning to her as Riko and Eve briefly left to get refills of their drinks. “I found a great hike near Magnolia the last time I was there. Like the one we took back in that little town. And-”

“What little town?” came Erza’s voice, and Lucy jumped, wondering when in the world Erza had left the bar counter to sidle next to her in the booth. 

Pause. 

“On Lucy’s first solo job,” explained Hibiki. “The two of us went on a trek.”

“I see,” said Erza, looking at Lucy with eyebrows raised, who merely let out a half-hearted chuckle.

“And I was just telling Lucy here, that there’s another one of those near Magnolia and-”

“I’m in,” said Erza, her eyes sparkling. “It will be… a picnic.”

“No way  _ I’m  _ getting left behind, I’m in too,” piped up Natsu, having come out of nowhere and immediately, Gray joined in as well, refusing to let Flame Brain have all the fun. 

Hibiki blinked, looking at all the people who were now suddenly part of the trek he had in mind. He looked at Lucy, almost questioningly, and she shrugged. “The more the merrier,” she said, smiling at the group.

* * *

And so, three days later, after a lot of debate that concluded in a further expansion of the group, who consisting of Lucy, Hibiki, Natsu, Gray, Erza, along with Lisanna, Juvia, Ren, Eve and Riko, they made their way up the tallest hill on the southwestern side of Magnolia. They were all walking in pairs, trudging up the hills in the afternoon. Hibiki had insisted that since it was a bigger group they should start earlier so they could catch the sunset in time.

Hibiki, Lucy and Ren were at the head of the group, practically leading the way. Followed by Natsu and Lisanna, who were chatting, not really bothered about or by the pace. Then there was Erza and Gray, who was practically arm-in-arm with Juvia, much to his own annoyance.* Eve and Riko made the tail, animatedly discussing the advantages and disadvantages of reading books using archive magic and on portable lacrimas.

“Is it just me or have we been seeing an awful lot of Hibiki lately,” asked Erza with amusement.

“Nah, he’s around all the time,” said Natsu shrugging. “Apparently Master Bob has a lot to say to Master Makarov.”

Lisanna giggled as she nudged Natsu playfully. “Oh,  _ come on,  _ Natsu, you don’t really believe that, do you?”

Natsu blinked in confusion, not understanding what she meant. Gray chortled at his expression. “With a slow brain like yours, I’ll never understand how you managed to get a girlfriend,” he said with a smirk, turning to look at Lisanna apologetically. 

She laughed before winding her arm around Natsu’s and telling him quietly, “He likes Lucy.”

“And what about it? I like Lucy too,” said Natsu, puzzled. “ _ Everyone  _ likes Lucy.”

“No, Natsu, he  _ likes  _ her,” repeated Lisanna, watching her boyfriend with amusement as he connected the dots and his eyes widened with realization.

“ _ Whaaaat?  _ No way,” he said dismissively.

Gray only huffed, as he walked past Natsu, who had now slowed down to watch Hibiki assist Lucy over a patch of rocky terrain.  _ Huh.  _

“Either ways, he’s not Lucy’s type,” shrugged Natsu as he picked up pace again.

Erza, who was now walking alongside Natsu and Lisanna, quirked a brow. “How would you even know Lucy’s type?”

“I just know… She’s not the kind of person who’s into that kind of crap,” he said sharply, immediately shaking his head when he saw his girlfriend shooting him a stern look. “Not that… Not that Hibiki is crap,” he said hurriedly. “He’s a great guy. Just that Lucy isn’t into the fancy kind of stuff, that’s all.”

“Mmm, I don’t know. Maybe she is,” hummed Lisanna thoughtfully as her eyes flickered ahead to see that Lucy and Hibiki had disappeared from their view, as they reached the summit before the rest of them. 

* * *

Hibiki and Lucy emerge out of the clearing and onto a cliff. From here, to their left, they could see the entirety of Magnolia, and to their right, the sea shone merrily. They had at least half an hour to kill before the sunset, so once Hibiki looked over his shoulder to ensure that everyone was on their trail, the two of them found themselves a nice patch of grass in the shade of a rock, overlooking the sea.

Lucy plopped down with a thud, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the tickle of the grass against the bare skin of her calves. The smell of the sea was coppery as it hit her, and the breeze was cool against her skin. Hibiki sat next to her, her eyes flying open when she felt his fingers graze hers. 

She carefully looked at him to see that he had his eyes closed, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leaned back to tilt his face up against the sky. She glanced at the grass where their fingers were barely touching. 

_ Comfort Zone.  _

She shifted ever so slightly so that their fingers now fit like a puzzle on the grass; they weren’t holding hands, but they let their hands just rest. She saw the hint of a smile on his face and she closed her eyes, leaning against the rock.

That didn’t last long, as Natsu and Lisanna caught up pretty quickly, and Natsu, being Natsu, had climbed right onto the rock that the two were leaning against; by the time Natsu had got on the rock both of them were playing nervously with their hands on their lap. 

* * *

It was quite late in the night when the gang headed back home. There had been a lot of complaining about how they should’ve packed to stay for the night given how the sky was so much clearer from up there. Plans to do this again, but for a night, were made again as they headed down hill. They parted ways once they reached the city, Blue Pegasus members headed to a nearby inn since it was too late for them to take a train back home. 

Hibiki said that he would walk Lucy home, both of them missing how Lisanna had looked pointedly at Natsu, as if telling him, “ _ See _ ,  _ I told you. _ ” Natsu merely laughed, shaking his head as he watched the retreating figures of Hibiki and Lucy, completely sure of himself. _ Lucy with Hibiki? No way.  _

Hibiki and Lucy walked towards her apartment in silence for the most part, Lucy on the parapet overlooking the river. The silence was broken by Hibiki at one point as he warned her to be careful when she squeaked as she nearly slipped once. When they did get to her building, Lucy turned to thank Hibiki, but instead quirked her eyebrows when she saw he had opened his mouth to say something as well. She waited and a few seconds later, Hibiki cleared his throat. 

“Go on a date with me,” he said in a rush, the faint reddening of his cheeks invisible in the moonlight. 

Lucy blinked at him, feeling her face warm up as he took another step towards her. This wasn’t like all the other times he’d pestered her to that exact same thing. To her own surprise, she felt a smile tugging at her lips. “I’d love to.”

“Okay, good,” said Hibiki, letting out a sigh of relief before chuckling sheepishly. “Tomorrow sound good?”

“Perfect,” she nodded. 

“Great,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

“Mhmm,” she said, and her eyes widened in surprise when Hibiki leaned over to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. As he drew back, her hand automatically went up to her cheek as she stared at him wide-eyed. 

“Good night, Lucy,” he grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

_ Much to think about tonight.  _

  
  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I don’t hate Gruvia. At all. At this point in the series - post Edolas - I don’t think Gray had warmed up to her fully yet, that’s all. In fact, I’m writing a Gruvia OneShot as you’re reading this.
> 
> Jeez. I’m really annoying you all, aren’t I? Soon, I promise. It’s going to get real angsty and good. :) Just bear with me. I promise not all the Lucy X Hibiki scenes will have this much description. At this point, I just needed it so I could explain Lucy’s approach to it. I didn’t want it to seem like she was just using Hibiki to forget about Natsu, so this bit of build up is kind of necessary. The NaLu build up will happen and it’ll be so great I swear, I had an awesome time writing it!


	5. Schoolgirl Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you stick around till the end and like where this goes. I know it's slow right now, but all I'll say is Chapter 8 is when things will start to get REALLY interesting. ;) Like... REALLY.

* * *

** _Chapter 5: Schoolgirl Crush_ **

* * *

Lucy lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, replaying the day over and over in her head. She had really just agreed to go on a date with Hibiki. She hadn't even feel pressured to go; she _wanted _to go. She was even excited about it and was _really _looking forward to it. Just ten minutes ago, she'd already set aside the clothes she was going to wear the next day.

Admittedly, it did feel a little strange. There was this weird tug of war in her mind, almost making her feel like she was doing something _ wrong _. Maybe she’d gotten too comfortable in her own feelings to let go now. Or maybe she had been feeling so desolate, that even the slightest chance of her possibly being able to move on had her feeling excited.

Whichever it was, it did give her a sense of hope. She didn’t want to make the mistake of going too far with it in her head again, so she clung onto that hope as she fell asleep.

* * *

“Well, aren’t you chipper this morning,” asked Natsu suspiciously as he, along with Lisanna, slid into the seat next to Lucy, who was humming as she read her book. She’d come into the guild early that morning, hoping to catch Levy for a quick talk about her date that evening. She’d been apprehensive about telling _ anyone _about it, but she had the urge to just talk about it with someone, and giggle away; experience the thrill of a first date that she’d read so much about in books. Levy, aside from being one of her best friends, was the best person to talk about it. Mira would be loud and get overly excited and Erza would well… be Erza, a mixture of protectiveness and excitement; also loud. As for Natsu… Nope, that would just be weird. 

When she felt Natsu arrive, she closed her book and put it in her lap, turning to him with a smile. “Good morning to you too, Natsu.” She turned to Lisanna, who was looking apologetic. “Hey, Lisanna.”

She opened her mouth to argue, when he continued. “What’re you doing here this early anyway?”

“I was…. Hoping to talk to Levy…” she said slowly, as she nervously played with her hair. _ Why am I even nervous. _ She prayed he wouldn’t ask anymore questions, but _ of course _he noticed her nervous fidgeting. 

“About what?” he asked, tilting his head. 

Noting her embarrassed look, Lisanna laid a hand on Natsu’s shoulder and said, “I don’t think she wants to talk about it…”

“What?? Lucy can talk to me about _ anything, _” he said proudly. Normally, she would’ve been touched when he’d said something like that, but not today. Not today.

“It’s… Girl problems,” muttered Lucy, feeling a little flustered. 

“What _ girl problem _ has _ you _ up this early and _ humming _ at the guild?” he asked inquisitively, making Lucy groan internally in frustration. _ Honestly. Why is this boy so stubborn! _

“_ Natsu! _” chided Lisanna. 

“_ What? _ You don’t know Lucy, she’s not a morning person!” he said defensively. “You should’ve seen her face that time Happy and I snuck into her apartment that morning. She kicked us out, banning us from her house,” he said, laughing. “ _ That _didn’t last long because obviously climbed back into the window, just to annoy her. I’d warned her about thieves breaking into the house, but she never latches her window…”

And suddenly, Lucy felt uncomfortable, as her eyes darted to Lisanna’s face anxiously. Why was it weird discussing this in front of her? Lisanna though, merely looked amused as Natsu continued about all the times he’d broken into her house. Lucy decided that she was _ way _too outside her comfort zone now. She interrupted his tirade. “Where’s Happy?”

“Probably trying to catch a fish for Carla,” laughed Lisanna fondly. 

Lucy joined in the laughter as well. “He’s really determined, huh. Doesn’t look like he’s going to give up anytime soon.”

“Yeah, he’s stubborn,” chuckled Lisanna, before looking at Lucy mischievously. “So, how are things going with Hibiki?”

Lucy blinked in confusion, before turning red. _ How did she know? _“UH… I… What’re you….”

“Oh, _ come on _ , Lucy,” said Lisanna, playfully patting her arm. “Hibiki _ likes _you.”

“This again,” said Natsu shaking his head at Lisanna before looking at Lucy. “She’s going on and about you and Hibiki. She says that you have a “thing” for each other, and I keep telling her he’s not your type. Tell her, Lucy.”

_ This is straight up _ ** _diving_ ** _ out of my comfort zone and just flying away from it. _ ** _Far _ ** _ from it. _

Lucy felt sweat pool at the back of her neck as she started to stutter in embarrassment, praying for Levy to just show up already. She made a half-hearted denial just to get Natsu to back off, who looked triumphantly at Lisanna, who in turn didn’t look convinced at all. 

_ End this already. _

As if one cue, Happy flew in with a sob about how Carla had denied his fish, _ yet again _. He settled on the table relaying his misery as Lucy, Natsu and Lisanna watched in amusement. When he finished with a wail, Natsu picked him and put him on his head.

“Good that you’re finally here, buddy,” said Natsu, patting his sad friend’s little head. “I got us a mission!” 

Happy perked up, sniffling. “Will there be fishies?”

“I would sure hope so, the town’s by a river!” he said, grinning. 

“Aye!” he exclaimed. 

“We’ll leave in the afternoon!” said Natsu, then looked at Lucy waiting for her response.

Realizing that she was being talked to, she blinked rapidly before letting out sheepish chuckle. “Oh, er, I can’t… I… have plans for the evening.”

Pause.

“Plans? What plans?” he asked, chewing on his breakfast slowly, a small frown on his face. 

“Just…. with _ Levy _,” she said. “We… haven’t hung out in a while, so…”

“Didn’t you just say you were meeting her here?”

“Well… To, er, discuss what we’re going to be doing in the evening,” she said, mentally patting herself on the back for thinking of this.

“_ This _ early in the morning?” asked Natsu, looking increasingly suspicious. _ Why won’t he just drop it. Of all days to be intuitive… _

“Natsu…” started Lisanna again, laying a hand on his shoulder, worry lines creasing her forehead as she started to feel a strange sort of tension build in the air.

“I…” he started, relaxing a little bit, but still looking irate. “...Was just really looking forward to the job,” he muttered.

Lucy looked at Lisanna gratefully before turning to look at Natsu. “You can still go on it, you know? You can handle it on your own, you don’t really need me on the team anyway,” she said shrugging. She hadn’t really meant anything by that; just that he was actually strong enough to handle possibly anything by himself.

Natsu made a face at her, leaning forward with an incredulous look. “Of course, I need ya! What’re you talking about?”

“I…” said Lucy, drawing away from him a little as she felt the heat radiate off of him. “Just meant that you’re strong. You don’t need help…”

“Who said anything about help?” asked Natsu, cocking his head at her, looking quizzical. “It’s the company…”

“Oh,” said Lucy, smiling now. “Then, maybe you and Lisanna can go together!” she said brightly, genuinely proud of herself for the idea.

_ This is growth! _

Natsu leaned back in his seat, hands crossed tightly against his chest. “But _ you’re _my partner!”

“Yes, but you can take your girlfriend with you,” said Lucy chuckling, not yet sensing his growing agitation. 

“_ We’re _a team though,” said Natsu, staring at her.

“I know,” said Lucy. “But if it’s company you want, you can take your girlfriend! What better-”

“Yes, but I want to go with my _ friend _!” snapped Natsu, making her lean back in shock. He grunted in annoyance and got up, Happy hovering over the table as he looked between Natsu and Lucy worriedly.

“Natsu…” said Lucy, confused. _ What in the heck had just happened? _

“_ Fine _ , you can go on with your _ other _ friends and-” started Natsu, and as Lucy realized why he was mad, she got angry.

“Wait a second, you’re mad that I’m hanging out with Levy instead of with you?” she asked slowly.

“Well, _ yeah _ and-”

“You can’t be mad about _ that _,” she said angrily, standing up to face him, hands on her hips. “I am not going to be able to come on every single job with you, you know? Natsu, you have your life outside and so do I! Things are bound to change and…”

Pause. Her eyes flickered to Lisanna, who was now stood up, watching the two of them anxiously. 

“...I can’t and probably won’t be around all the time,” she finished, her eyes going back to Natsu’s face, trying to look at him with determination. 

His face hardened. He scowled at the floor before muttering a low ‘Fine’ before turning on his heel and walking away, leaving Lucy standing there with anger and hurt etched on her face. 

“What is with him!” she said tightly, almost to herself, voice shaking slightly as she looked at his retreating back. She hated that her eyes had filled up with tears. 

“I don’t know,” came a small mutter and she remembered that she wasn’t alone. Blinking away her tears, she saw Lisanna looking at her with a troubled expression. Catching Lucy’s gaze, Lisanna’s face became apologetic. “I’m sorry.”

Lucy stared at the silver haired girl in surprise for a moment before shaking her head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” she grumbled, looking in the direction that Natsu had disappeared in.

Moments later, Lucy spotted Levy walking into the guild and rushed to her friend as Lisanna went to have a word with her older sister. The two sat in a far corner of the guild, away from prying eyes and ears as Lucy told Levy excitedly about her date with Hibiki. The blue-haired girl’s widened with delight.

“That’s so amazing, Lu!” she said excitedly. “Have you picked out what you want to wear yet?” 

And the two girls discussed some details, Levy even teasing Lucy, when suddenly Levy realized something. “Where’s Natsu?” she asked, noting how the fire dragon slayer wasn’t around thanks to the lack of brawls in the guild; and also because he practically lived at the guild, and Levy had half expected Natsu to be teasing the crap out of Lucy by now.

Lucy’s eyebrows knit at Levy’s question. “He… left,” she muttered, making Levy look at her questioningly.

Levy’s eyes got bigger and bigger as Lucy explained what had happened. 

“He can’t be mad at me because I am not around all the time,” said Lucy again defensively. “_ I _don’t say anything when he takes time off with Lisanna or when they go on missions together, do I?”

Levy frowned. “Lisanna and Natsu went on a mission together?”

“Well, not yet they haven’t. But _ if they do _, I’m not gonna get mad.”

Levy only nodded quietly, before asking her the question that was really bothering her. “Lu, why didn’t you tell him it was a date?” 

Pause. “I didn’t tell _ anyone _ ,” said Lucy, shaking her head. “I love the guild but they’re… too nosy. I just want to make sure things are official or at least _ going _somewhere before I say anything.”

“Right,” murmured Levy, observing her friend who was now looking away uncomfortably.

Sigh. She didn’t know why Lucy was trying to keep it a secret. Everyone with a brain knew how she felt about Natsu. Levy’s eyes swept the guild and she felt a chuckle coming on as she took in the sight of her guildmates fooling around. _ I suppose everyone with a _ ** _working_ ** _ brain would know. _ She had a feeling Mira knew and that Cana had an inkling as well. It wouldn’t be surprising if Erza knew, but truth be told, if she did, she already would’ve confronted Lucy by now. _ That’s Erza for you. _

Levy looked at her friend again, smiling this time, happy that she seemed to be moving on. She took Lucy’s hands in her, reaching for them across the table and gave her a small smile. 

“I’m happy for you, Lu,” she said.

* * *

The date with Hibiki had been perfect, to the book. He’d been on time and chivalrous, they’d talked with ease, the food was great and they’d gone on a slow, long walk in the park at the centre of the town, taking the longer route back to her house. Some time during their walk, his hand had covered hers and she hadn’t drawn away. It was beautiful in the night; quiet, save for crickets and a trickle of silver as the light of the full moon bounced off the foliage of the trees.

When they got to her apartment door, Lucy turned to Hibiki with a soft smile. “I had a good time tonight. Thank you…”

“I’m glad. I did too,” Hibiki smiled, before a nervous look returned. “So, er, dare I presume there’ll be a second date?”

“You may,” laughed Lucy, tucking a lock of her stray hair behind her. 

Hibiki heaved a sigh of relief. “I’ll… call you tomorrow?”

Lucy nodded, making a mental note to keep her portable communication lacrima with her the whole time. “Good night, Hibiki,” she said, but didn’t turn around to unlock the door as she stared at him. He looked unsure as well, nervously stuffing his hands in his pocket, fidgeting.

“Good night, Lucy.”

“Good night, Hibiki,” she said again, and smiled at Hibiki’s amused look. Her smile vanished, replaced by a startled nervous look when he closed the distance between them to kiss her. Surprised at first, she let her eyes fall shut as she kissed him back, hands clutching his shoulders.

He drew back, grinning at her flushed face and stuffing his hands in his pockets he took a step back. 

“Bye, Lucy.”

“Bye,” she said, her throat dry as she blinked rapidly, both slightly embarrassed and breathless at the same time. 

She giggled to herself before finally opening the door and trudging upstairs, humming a soft tune under her breath. She felt on the moon, as if her life was finally getting back under her control. Requited love was such an underrated concept. _ Love? _ Nah, not really. She definitely liked Hibiki in _ that way _ , but it was just a crush. But she could see herself falling in love. Maybe. If not with Hibiki, someone else, _ for sure. _That had felt like an impossibility just a couple of weeks ago. 

_ This is great. _

She opened the door of her apartment, very pleased with herself and went straight to the bathroom to draw herself a bath. She really wanted to soak in some hot water, think a couple more happy thoughts before she went to bed. After checking to make sure that the water would be the right temperature, she started to walk towards her bedroom when she heard the noise in the kitchen.

_ Ah, crap. Just when I decided that today could officially be categorised as ‘good’. _

She grabbed a vase off a side table as she went to the kitchen, starting to raise it, ready to bash someone’s head in, only to be greeted with darkness except for the light coming from the fridge. She set the vase down, huffing as she realized who it was; only _ one _person she knew stole from her fridge. She turned on the light in the kitchen, to see Happy asleep on top of the fridge and Natsu, sticking his head over the door of the fridge, swallowing the food in his mouth quickly as he looked at her.

“_ Happy, you were supposed to be the lookout!” _he said accusingly when he saw the exceed fast asleep on top of the fridge. Natsu’s indignant remark did nothing to wake him. Grunting, he turned to look at Lucy apologetically before he raised his brows. 

“Huh. You look nice,” he said, cocking his head at her. 

She flushed red and muttered a low thanks before, her hands went to her hips. “Care to explain why you are raiding my fridge _ this _time?” She felt somewhat wary, given his explosive behaviour this morning.

Natsu straightened up, closing the fridge door as he looked at her sheepishly, walking towards her. “Well, I came to talk to you but you weren’t here so I waited, then got hungry and…” he gestured in a general direction, followed by a shrug. 

Lucy quirked her eyebrows, and shook her head in wry amusement because how typical of Natsu just forget about how angry he had been. She turned around and walked towards her bedroom, as Natsu followed her. “What did you want to talk about?” she asked, shaking her head as she let her hair down. In the mirror, she saw Natsu sit in her chair by the desk, a small frown on his face as he looked at the floor nervously.

She turned around to face him, arms crossed as she leaned against her dresser. “Natsu?”

“I… wanted to apologize. For this morning,” he said, looking up at her with searching eyes. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Did Lisanna put you up to this?” asked Lucy suspiciously, because this was just so unlike him. Not the apologizing exactly, but Natsu was the kind of person who would just go back to normal like nothing had happened, while lowkey trying to do things to make up for whatever he might’ve done to piss her off. 

“Huh? What, no!” he said scowling, indignantly. “What, I can’t apologize to my best friend on my _ own _?”

She walked over and hopped onto her desk, towering over him as he looked up at her, cheeks puffed up in irritation. 

“I suppose you can,” she said, playfully ruffling his hair as his scowl deepened. “I forgive you. It’s okay.”

He relaxed at that, and grinned. “Thank god. So, er, are you free… tomorrow?” he asked, leaning back into her swivel chair. 

“Sure,” she shrugged. “What for?”

“The job I mentioned this morning,” he said, as if it should be obvious. 

Lucy blinked. “You… didn’t go with Lisanna?”

Natsu looked at her confused. “I told you, _ we’re _ a team...”

Lucy blinked at him, trying to explain to him that now that he had a girlfriend, and well, that she _ might _ have a boyfriend (maybe?) that they couldn’t be partners forever. Right? Or could they? How would that even work? What would happen if they had a month-long job? Would they just leave their _ other _kind of partners behind?

She sighed internally, not wanting to argue right now since she herself didn’t have a clear idea of her own “viewpoint” so to speak. There was still time because she was still figuring things out with Hibiki; they’d only been on one date. She did like him, but… her gaze flickered to the pink haired dragon slayer, now watching her curiously, and she shook her head deciding that she didn’t want to complete that train of thought. _ Let it be. _

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head before adding. “Okay, we’ll go tomorrow.”

“Awesome,” he said chuckling, before adding. “Got something to eat? I’m starving.”

“_ Natsu _, you were just raiding my fridge!” 

He only grunted in response, making her roll her eyes at him. “I”m going to bathe. Help yourself,” she said, hopping off the table as she grabbed a towel on her way to the bathroom.

Natsu grinned at her. “You’re the best, Luce.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, waving her hand as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in case you're wondering why Hibiki, I had many reasons. I liked the idea that it's someone she already knows. And also um it was difficult… I considered Laxus, actually. But I felt she needed someone more relaxed and subdued than Laxus? Maybe in another fic? Ultimately, I felt like I love all characters too much to hurt them too much. This felt like it'd hurt the least. 🙈Also we haven’t seen enough of Hibiki on the show so that gives me more room to build his character to suit the way I want it.
> 
> Also, this is not the "I'm saving jealous Natsu for another scene" that I was talking about ;)


	6. Best Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW. This is somewhat of a filler, but still an important chapter, once again to sort of just, understand Lucy's headspace. I'm purposely not really exploring Natsu's headspace just yet, but soon. ;) Once again, I would like to thank every single one of my reviewers. Ily guys and I don't think I would be able to do this without you!
> 
> Also, I'm kind of surprised at how surprisingly well everyone's received Hibiki! I was actually expecting some backlash for that, lmao.

* * *

** _Chapter 6: Best Friends_ **

* * *

Lucy still did have some days when she felt particularly down, or days when her mind got a little too carried away and made her wonder if things would've been different if Lisanna hadn't come back. She hated that thought more than anything because Lisanna and her had become easy friends over the last couple of weeks, starting when she'd told Natsu that he should bring Lisanna over some time since he spent so much time at her home anyway.

_"You know, you should bring Lisanna over some time!" _she'd suggested as she wrote at her desk as he lounged around her house, bored. _"That way, you'd be able to spend more time with your girlfriend!"_

He had looked thoughtful for a few seconds before grinning at her. _"Sure. I think that's a good idea."_

And that was that. It'd struck her odd but she didn't comment on it. Natsu never really said much about Lisanna or his relationship with her. His tone didn't seem to imply that he was trying to hide anything; he just genuinely didn't have much to say.

_Maybe he likes keeping things private and sees no reason to really talk about this kind of stuff._

But oddly enough, Lisanna was exactly that way too, save for an amused look on her face and an occasional affectionate smile, she didn't talk about it much either. Lucy mused about the composure the two of them probably have had to have because she felt like she would burst apart at the seams if she didn't have Levy to talk to about the happenings in her life, significant or not.

Three weeks had gone by since Lucy and Hibiki's first date. In three weeks, they'd gone on a couple more dates, and so many hikes; it was their "thing" now, watching the sun set or rise, whichever they could make. One of the times they'd been on a hilltop overlooking a forest, things had gotten somewhat heated, ending with her leaving with somewhat swollen lips, very tousled hair and a mild bruise on her back from the rock she'd been pressed against as they'd made out. Her face hadn't cooled till the next morning.

Of course, it was getting increasingly difficult to explain these hours long absences to her guildmates, and more so to Natsu. After their talk, he didn't really argue anymore when she would tell him that she'd made plans, but his smile would fall a little flat and his brow would twitch a little as he would force out just an, "Oh, okay."

She supposed things would be easier if she just told everyone, but she was happy in her own little secret bubble. Besides, they still hadn't had The Talk pertaining labels yet. She didn't really mind that, if she was being honest with herself. She would _like _it if they talked about it, but she didn't mind that they didn't. She was somewhat afraid of saying the wrong thing, so she just waited patiently for him to bring it up.

All said and done, Lucy's heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. Once again, it wasn't as if she was falling in love with Hibiki or anything, nor did she think they were forever. She didn't really even think about their future that much. She simply revelled in the knowledge that what had seemed like an ache that time wouldn't heal, it had.

She wandered idly into the guild hall after seeing Hibiki off at the Magnolia train station and Natsu came bounding towards her, screaming about some job. He came to a halt in front of her before scrunching his nose and sniffing.

"Why do you smell like Hibiki?" he asked, puzzled.

_Oh._

"Well, I just saw him off at the train station," she started slowly, gauging Natsu's reaction warily.

"Oh," he said. "Why was he here? How come he didn't show up at the guild?"

"He was… in a hurry. Needed my help translating some thing for Master Bob," she said quickly, feeling mildly annoyed at his interrogation.

Natsu grimaced. "Sure. _That's _why…"

Lucy frowned. "What does _that _mean?"

He crossed his arms against his chest and looked at her like she was stupid, which really didn't do anything to calm her. "He's around a lot…"

"So…?"

"Luce, he's a creep just like all those guys from Blue Pe-"

"Hibiki is _not _a creep," she said stiffly, mirroring him as she crossed her arms.

"-gasus," continued Natsu, ignoring her. "I mean, he's a known playboy and-"

"No, he isn't," she said insistently, knowing full well that it was all just for show. It fit the bill and so he'd gone along with it, that was all there was to it.

"-he can be charming and stuff, but it can be so irritating…" he said, still not really paying heed to her.

"I'll have you know, that it's not irritating," she said louder this time, finally catching his attention. "He's really nice and chivalrous and knows just the right thing to say."

Natsu quirked a brow. "Wow, didn't really think you were the type to like that sleazy stuff."

"It's _not _sleazy," she said, glaring at him now, because honestly, who did he think he was, saying things like that. "He's meticulous, and he… he reads and is actually a very, _very_ responsible person!"

Before he could open his mouth, she cut him off, not in the mood for a fight with him; she could feel irritation and annoyance threatening to spill over and she just couldn't be bothered to fight Natsu now. She didn't know _what _his problem was, but he was just going to have to deal with it.

"Look, forget it, what's the job?" she asked, snatching the pamphlet out of his hand to read through it.

"Why are you defending him so much?" he asked suspiciously.

She sighed. "Natsu, just drop it okay? Can we just-"

"Do you l-"

Hurriedly, she cut him off again, because nope, she didn't want to talk about that, not now. "I just got to know him better these last few weeks is all. He's pretty… great," she said, with carefully measured words before turning on her heel to walk out of the guild, missing the odd look he was giving her.

"Come on, we've got a job to do."

* * *

The job itself was simple, but the tension from their earlier conversation lingered. She felt like she was being scrutinized by Natsu and wished Happy was here to deflate some of the tension. She almost told him the truth, but stopped herself. True, maybe he'd calm down, somewhat, and even be more understanding if he knew the whole truth. Maybe it would make more sense to him if she explained that she was actually spending time with Hibiki because they were _dating. _He was dating too, so maybe he'll understand? She would tell him soon. Not yet, but soon.

She sighed softly as she trailed behind Natsu through the forest on their way home. She looked at his back apprehensively and was about to start thinking about how she hated how there seemed to be an odd shift in their friendship, when Natsu stopped and let out a huff.

"Natsu?"

"I hate fighting with you," he muttered, turning around to face her.

"I'm not a fan either," she said, sighing.

He cocked his head, regarding her curiously. "Why have we been fighting so much?"

She merely shrugged, closing the distance between them as the two started walking again side by side, slowly.

"You've been acting weird," he said flatly again, making her look at him quizzically. "I don't know how to explain it. Since…" he trailed away thoughtfully before her gaze flickered to him. "We came back from Edolas."

Lucy tensed just a little as she gave him a strained chuckle as he continued. "For a couple of days I thought you were actually avoiding me and-"

"I wasn't _avoiding _you," she said quickly. "I'd just gone on a solo mission."

"_Before _that, I mean," he said, watching her eyes widen just a little bit.

She was trying not to look surprised because she didn't think he'd have noticed. It had been a busy ( in her mind ) few days and a couple of days before she'd left on the mission, she had in fact, been trying to avoid him so she could get it together, so to speak. It hadn't struck her that _anyone_ had noticed.

That also took her mind to how Natsu and Lisanna had been the first week. Practically attached to the hip to the point where she'd been hurt and he'd stopped coming dropping by to her house. She obviously felt guilty about feeling that way as well, but… that's just how it had been. She still did see them together at the guild, sometimes holding hands and the occasional kiss but it wasn't the same as it had been in the first week.

"Hey, Natsu," she said, slowly, evading his non-question question. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is everything okay with you and Lisanna?" she asked, instantly wishing she hadn't asked because it sounded like a really stupid question. She didn't know how to elaborate on that because how exactly was she supposed 'Something doesn't feel right?' That's no good.

_Ugh._

Natsu frowned at her. "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know. Just… Never mind," she sighed, because she really didn't know how to explain it to him.

He stopped and took a step ahead to face Lucy. "What?" He didn't sound angry. Just… curious, she supposed.

She started waving her hands dismissively. "No, you know what, it's… none of my business, I shouldn't-"

He caught her hands by the wrist, startling her out of her thoughts and leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he inspected her. Lucy felt herself lean back, confused as to what he was doing, unable to meet his scrutinising gaze.

"I'm your best friend, right Luce?" he asked.

"Y-Yeah."

"You know you can tell me anything?"

She nodded warily and he let go of her hands before taking a step back to cross his arms against his chest.

"Then _tell me_. What makes you think something's not okay?" he asked, insistently.

She hesitated, debating it and worrying about making him angry. "Don't be mad…" she said slowly before finally looking at him. He was watching her, eyebrows raised, patient and concentrating on her. "...It's just… You don't go on missions together-"

"Yeah, we've been over this. That's because we're not a team! Lisanna, Mira and Elfman are a team. Happy, you and I are a team. I _told _you before and-"

_Ugh. _She didn't want to contest that anymore because that's just how Natsu saw things, she supposed. There were still so many questions about how this would work (that only she had, and in all likelihood was overthinking about), but maybe she should just take a page from Natsu's book and keep it as simple as when it came to work, they were partners. Like co-workers. Yeah. But-

"It's not just _that," _she cut him. "You don't really do boyfriend-girlfriend things anymore… After the first week. And neither of you talk about it much, so I… don't know, maybe I was just… worried about?" she said, trailing away unsurely as she tried to gauge his reaction.

"What do you mean we don't do boyfriend-girlfriend things?" he asked indignantly. "We kiss and stuff. We go out on a date once a week."

She stared at his challenging face, wanting to explain that that wasn't all there was to being in a relationship. That it was kind of strange that Lisanna didn't mind that Natsu insisted on always going away on solo missions with her, or that Natsu and occasionally _both_ of them hung out at her apartment or at the guild more than they hung out with each other, just the two of them.

"Natsu," she said slowly. "Being in a relationship is so much more than that. It's… wanting to spend as much time with each other as you can. Learning more about each other with time, and doing things together. Being there for each other when you can. Feeling butterflies in your stomach when you're around each other... Or-or your the skin is on fire when you touch. That's what it is… and…"

Natsu was thinking hard, she could tell, mulling over that he'd said. She'd trailed away, watching him nervously, worried that she might have just crossed a line. He finally looked at her with a slight crunch to his brows.

"But… we're okay," he said slowly. "With how things are."

Lucy smiled at him then. "Look, if you're okay that way, that's great! It varies from person to person, I suppose. I worried, that's all. You know how I overthink stuff."

"Yeah, you do," he said with a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. Lucy wondered if she was imagining the troubled look on his face. And-

_Shut up, Lucy. You're overthinking again._

"Well, now let's head back shall we?" she asked as the two of them started to walk towards Magnolia again.

"Hey, by the way," started Natsu again. "What'd ya mean we don't talk about it?"

"Huh?"

"When you said Lis and I don't talk about it much, why did you say it like it's a bad thing?" he asked.

"Oh," sighed Lucy. "I didn't mean it like that… It's just… I don't know, when relationships are new, there's always so much to talk about and think over, so I'm just… Surprised that you two don't talk about it with anyone." she said, and then laughed lightly. "I don't know how you two do it, I would explode if I couldn't talk to Levy and you know, I suppose Lisanna talks to Mira and-"

Natsu's brows quirked in interest. "Wait, what? Talk to Levy? About…?"

Her eyes widened as she realized her slip-up, scrambling her thoughts. "I- I meant, if I was in your place… And in a relationship, I would_ want_ to talk to Levy."

Natsu looked at her unconvinced and then frowned. "You wouldn't talk about it with me?"

"I…" she trailed away unsurely, before muttering. "It's a girl talk thing."

_Yeah, good job, Lucy. _ ** _That _ ** _makes sense. So logical._

"Right," he said before asking her seriously, "But you would tell me right? If you… you know, started dating or I don't know, have a crush or whatever. You know you can talk to me?"

Lucy only pursed her lips, and gave him a tight smile in response without really answering. The look on his face made her feel guilty for hiding things from him. She didn't like hiding things from Natsu (unless it was about her feelings because one, that'd be selfish and two, it just didn't matter), or the guild for that matter, nor the guilt that accompanied the lies.

The two were silent on the rest of their journey, both lost in thought.

Lucy was assuaged for the most part, and decided to make it a lesson for herself; maybe that's just how their relationship worked. Her ideas came from the multitudes of romance novels she'd read so maybe it was a skewed idea in the first place. Maybe it just worked differently with different people. True, with Hibiki it really was like pages from a book, she found herself smiling softly to herself, and with a jolt, she realized that throughout their mission, she hadn't thought about Natsu _that _way the whole time; not even when they were talking about Lisanna and him.

Her smile grew wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be my least favourite chapter in the series, but it had to be done. It was important, I think, to re-establish a couple of things.
> 
> 1\. Where Lucy's ideas regarding romance comes from - all the mushy novels she's read. I needed her to acknowledge the influence for what I have in mind for later.  
2\. Natsu is a dense about specifics but knows when something's off, especially with his friend. I explore the dumbassery - some extent of naivete, I would say, more in the next chapter ;)  
3\. Also felt like I needed to reiterate their friendship before things started to pick up.
> 
> WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK. DID YOU PICK UP ANY HINTS FROM THIS CHAPTER.


	7. Boundaries and Guilt Filter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I should've been clearer last time, by "hints" I meant like a foreshadowing thing, but not exactly... Idk how to explain, but the last chapter sort of set forth some premise for some upcoming stuff, if that makes sense? AW hell, you'll see huehuehueuhee.
> 
> This chapter is similar to last one, sets a premise for some stuff but this is super important for reasons that'll be obvious when you reach the end. And this chapter is not what it seems. It's somewhat pivotal and pay attention to the *wording* I used because some of it is there for a very particular reason. This in terms of Lucy's observation of Lisanna, her inner thoughts on Hibiki and the conversation with Natsu.
> 
> LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT AND STUFF OKAY? I'M SUPER CURIOUS.
> 
> ALSO. Bad news guys :( You know that Ch8 moment I was hyping? Looks like that'll be Ch9 this chapter and the next turned out longer than I expected so I had to push it to Ch9. Just a warning. It's a pivotal moment (but not the kind you think... A free OS of your choice prompt and genre if you guess what it is, hahahahah) so I didn't want to just squeeze it into the next chapter... It would need more words, so.. sorry about that.
> 
> This fic's gonna burn slower than I thought, huh.
> 
> Also, feel free to send prompts my way! DM on here or on Tumblr! www dot yogicturtle dot tumblr dot com! I love challenges huehue
> 
> WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME LEAVE ME SOME REVIEWS PEOPLE ;_;

* * *

** _Chapter 7: Boundaries and Guilt Filters_ **

* * *

"Hey, Luce!" called the familiar voice and before she could say anything, the door to her bathroom had flown open, revealing a confused Natsu in the doorway, oblivious to Lucy's yelp as she sank into the water in her tub to hide herself, grateful that she'd chosen to draw herself a bubble bath.

"_What!_" she hissed.

"There's no food left," he said petulantly.

She huffed. "That's because _you _and Happy raid my fridge all the time!"

He didn't even bother looking ashamed. "Yeah, but last evening there was plenty of leftover steak and soup!"

_Oh._

"Well, I… finished it for dinner last night."

He narrowed his eyes at her as he came closer, making her yelp again as she pressed herself against the side of the bathtub, turning just a little towards the wall before glaring at him. A glare that he ignored.

"You ate all that steak by yourself?"

"Well…" _Hibiki helped. _"...Yes. I was hungry."

He continued to look at her in disbelief, making her scowl. He held his hands up in surrender. "_Fine. _I believe you."

"Good."

When he made no move to leave, she cleared her throat. "And you _really _seem to need a lesson at knocking?" she said seriously.

He merely chuckled and left the bathroom. Lucy relaxed into her water again, and though his reaction was like every other time she'd told him, almost hopelessly, about using doors and knocking before opening them, today, she had _really _meant it.

She stared at the closed door for a few seconds before staring at the ceiling, her mind now running a mile a minute.

* * *

Lucy had never really cared for it before, but after that morning, she was hyper aware of the platonic boundaries that she crossed with her best friend sometimes. Over the next couple of weeks, she found herself making very intense mental notes about these things now.

Like when he would sling her over his shoulder clumsily, holding her in place, practically nestling her into his side. Or the accidental glimpses he'd end up catching of her body when through some unfortunate accident or the other lead to her losing her clothes. _Or when he'd just walk into the bathroom when she bathed. _Things like that.

These things had always made her stomach flutter with embarrassment and heat would rush to her face, but now… she felt an odd sense of guilt, maybe because she suddenly felt like those were really intimate things reserved for a special someone; or maybe she _always_ found things like that intimate but hadn't had a special someone before. Whatever the reason may be, she felt guilty and she wasn't a fan of the feeling.

It made her wonder how Hibiki would react if he knew. Or Lisanna for that matter. She hadn't before, but now she did. And once you feel a certain way or suspected something, it becomes all too easy to look at things with that particular filter on.

It didn't help with her guilt that sometimes, she'd notice a flicker of worry or thoughtfulness in Lisanna's eyes as the takeover mage watched Lucy and Natsu argue over something, be it big or small. She'd seen Lisanna in conversation with Mira once, quiet as they whispered, when Lisanna had thrown a furtive glance at Natsu when she thought no one was watching. She'd looked nervous.

This morning, Lucy had caught Lisanna's eye when Natsu was trying to block her way out of the guild, cornering her in a booth and refusing to let her leave because, "You _promised _me we'd go on a mission this week!"

Lucy had arranged her facial expression to look like she was amused and annoyed, which she was, but she was also worried. Lisanna had smiled back at her warmly, shrugging knowingly, but Lucy knew better; she'd seen the thoughtful scrutiny, peppered with a small amount of curiosity.

This development set her on edge.

Did Lisanna know somehow? _It's a thing of the past_, she told herself, _and it's a can of worms I don't want to open. _She wanted to leave it in the past, and if Lisanna knew, then it would be awkward. And if she _didn't _know, maybe she was bothered by Natsu's behaviour around her as she suspected she would, which she supposed she could understand because he never really put too much thought and just… dove head first into things. To him, she knew, it didn't _mean _anything per se, but she was unsure if Lisanna felt the same way. And if she didn't, she could imagine what it might look like to Lisanna. Of course she didn't know any of it for sure, but what if-

_Shut up. _She scolded her brain for spiralling. _Stop making things up in your mind just so you can worry about them. You don't _**_know _**_any of that._

That night, her gaze flickered to the window that she still left open out of habit - he didn't come every night, but still - and briefly, she wondered if it was time to set some boundaries. Not that she _personally _cared for it; she would have a couple of years ago, but perhaps she'd just gotten used to it. She needed to do it just so she could be at ease; at ease that Lisanna had no room to misinterpret anything, and at ease of being able to draw a very distinct line between her… _maybe-boyfriend-but-we-have't-discussed-labels-yet_... and her best friend she was crushing on (_used _to crush on, her mind reminded her).

* * *

Lucy's eyes flew open some time in the middle of the night when she felt her bed dip. Reflexively, she jerked her leg earning a soft familiar grunt that made her sit up in shock as she peered over her bed to where Natsu lay in a heap.

"_Ow_," he groaned. "What's wrong with you?"

She jumped out of bed to check for an injury first before her hands came to her hips and she glared at him. "What's wrong with _me_? What's wrong with _you_!"

He stood up with a grunt, looking at her defensively. "What did I do!"

"Are you serious right now?" she huffed, looking at him incredulously as she realized that he wasn't kidding and he was genuinely confused. "You can't just slide into some girl's bed!"

"Why not? I used to do it all the time!"

She pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling deeply. "Natsu, it's not the same, you have a girlfriend now."

"Yeah, but Lisanna's out on a mission with Mira!"

"_So? _You thought you'd come _here?_"

"I… Well… _Yeah._ Why is that a problem? It… didn't used to be before," he asked, nervous.

Why. Why did she have to spell it out for him? How could he possibly not comprehend that this was weird? It was _especially _weird because Hibiki had left her apartment only that evening, a few hours ago; clothes had _nearly _come off but when Lucy had let out a nervous giggle, Hibiki had drawn back, taking her hand in his.

_"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away," _he'd said sincerely. "_There's no rush,_" he'd added, tracing reassuring circles on her hand with his thumb, her fingers still clasped in his hand. She'd nodded, smiling at him gratefully, before murmuring that she'd been enjoying what they'd been doing earlier as she closed the distance between them to kiss him again. He'd chuckled against her lips and well… so on and so forth.

"_Luce!_" A jolt snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked up at his questioning face, feeling the blush in her cheeks brighten as she realized that she'd drifted off into lala land in the middle of a conversation. Her cheeks tingled with so much warmth that her hands automatically went up to touch them.

"Why're you being so weird, weirdo?" asked Natsu, noting her nervous demeanour, as he cocked his head at her.

"N-Nothing," she stuttered, shaking her head as he sat on the bed next to her, looking at her curiously. Which unfortunately reminded her why she'd been mad in the first place. Her frown returned and she turned to face him, cross-legged on her bed as he mimicked her position to face her.

She took a deep breath and looked at him, face serious, glad that he was paying attention.

"Natsu, look, you… have a girlfriend," she started, making Natsu snort.

"So you keep reminding me. I don't see how-"

"Let me finish!" she snapped, making him hold his hands up in surrender before she continued in a relatively calmer mode, still in disbelief that her best friend really needed an explanation. "Sharing beds is an intimate thing. You have a girlfriend. And sharing a bed with another girl is just… not right."

"But you're not just another girl, you're my best friend," he said indignantly.

"Well. What does Lisanna have to say about it?" She also has a feeling Hibiki wouldn't be a fan of the idea.

"I'm sure Lis won't mind," said Natsu confidently, a smug grin on his face.

There really was no way to get through to Natsu sometimes, she decided, _especially _if he didn't really want to understand. And she could tell from the challenging look on his face and the barely visible twitch in his brow that basically screamed 'Change my mind if you can' and when he had that look, it basically meant that no, you couldn't no matter how hard you tried.

Fine then. If it was just a platonic gesture to him, fine, but to her, it wasn't. She almost felt… guilty about it, for a multitude of reasons. She knew she wouldn't _not mind_ if she found out Hibiki was 'platonically' sharing his bed with some other girl, best friend or not. She was almost sure that Lisanna would be hurt about it. It was true that those two had a somewhat different kind of a relationship by the looks of it, unconventional, one might say, but she wasn't going to hurt her friend based on a presumption. Better safe than sorry.

Sighing, she steeled herself. "Look, maybe she won't. But… I… It doesn't feel right to _me,_ okay? Please? I feel guilty," she said, getting increasingly nervous when he stared at her without really responding.

That only derailed her thoughts and she started to ramble. "We just… need to establish a few boundaries, that's all. It's not like… I really do love having you over, I do, but… I don't know, please? If you want to stay over, that's fine with me," she continued. "Just take the couch. Or I even have a spare mattress you could use and-

"Fine, if that's what you want," he said at last, cutting her off, while surprising and relieving her at the same time. She watched him as he stood up and walked over to where the storage box beneath her cupboard was, where he knew she kept the spare bedding. Pulling it out, he lugged it over to spread next to her bed.

"I'm sorry," she said anxiously, noting his tense body language, wondering if he was angry at her, and if so, why was he still here? If he wasn't angry, why wasn't he saying anything?

He unrolled the bedding and prepared it before sitting down on it. He looked up at her with a sigh. "You don't have to apologize, Luce. It's okay. I get it." Pause. "Maybe." Pause. "But it doesn't matter. I don't want you to feel… bad or something."

She heaved a sigh of relief and leaned over her bed to ruffle his hair. "Thank you, Natsu."

He merely let out a half-hearted chuckle as he lay down on the bedding on the floor with a soft thump. Lucy lay down as well, staring at the ceiling as her mind set to work to replay what had happened a thousand times over so she could pick apart the little things and worry.

"I just… want to be able to do what I want," he said into the darkness, and Lucy turned to her side, looking down at him to see that he was on his side, watching her. "None of these _rules _that people seem to have about-"

She sighed. "Natsu, I'm sorry, I-"

He cut her off, shaking his head vehemently. "I don't mean _you_, Luce. Just in general… All these new things I can or cannot do because something has changed with someone or with me. I just…"

"Those are behavioural things," she said gently. "You'll get used to it over time. It's just a matter of habit, you know?" Pause. "Like now, you know to knock on the door when I'm taking a shower," she chuckled quietly.

He snorted in response. "Well, I am not a fan of getting kicked in the head."

"See? Habit," she said, laughing. "It's only a matter of time before you get used to the change."

He mumbled something incoherent under his breath before sighing. "I don't like change very much," he said simply.

"Change is good," she said slowly, her mind automatically taking her back to a nearly two months ago (had it been that long already?) when she was sullen and her mind had slowed to a depressing lull. "Without it, we'd be stuck in the same place. Everything would just… be the same. And that could be worse, not moving forward or not being able to look forward to something new."

Silence. She saw him struggling with words and waited patiently.

"I like it when everything stays the same," was all he said.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she laughed softly, making him look at her questioningly. "Without change, Lis wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have joined Fairy Tail either."

He only hummed in vague agreement before turning on his back and joining his hands behind his head. She watched him for a few moments and turned to lie on her back, pulling the blankets and bunching it under her chin.

"Good night, Natsu," she said softly.

"'Night, Luce."

* * *

It was a snowy evening in Magnolia. Lucy sat in a cozy coffee shop opposite Hibiki, both of their cheeks flushed from the hot steam rising from their mugs of coffee. She took a sip and smiled at him over the cup; he grinned in return.

"I've missed you." His words are very simply said and with no hesitation.

She liked that about him; he was completely at ease when it came to communication, even if he occasionally stumbled over his words. Like the time she'd changed into a body-hugging black dress on a visit to Blue Pegasus with Levy, to make use of archive magic for a dialect they were trying to decipher; libraries were great but when they were on a deadline and money was at stake, archive magic was _extremely _efficient. Not to mention, she got to see him.

"I missed you too," she said, and she meant it.

Something about being in his presence left her with an odd sense of calm. It reminded her of how far she'd come from where she'd been. She loved discussing books with him and the occasional dates to places that he knew she'd like; museums, libraries and the likes. It wasn't always dates. Sometimes they worked on things together - the dialect decipher for instance - and occasionally, there were lazy evenings spent in her apartment.

It was a nice feeling that made her heart warm.

"I know we haven't really talked about this yet," started Hibiki, bringing his attention to her. "But um, since we've been going out for about two months now…" He started twiddling with his thumbs, making Lucy's heart beat faster in anticipation. "...Is it um, okay to say you're my girlfriend?"

"Took you long enough," she said, laughing softly. Then, she smiled brightly at him before leaning across the table to give him a coffee flavoured kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There. Now Lucy has no reason to hide stuff about Hibiki anymore! Keep in mind that Lucy didn't feel comfortable telling Natsu, but that was more about her own feelings than the thought that Natsu might get mad or something. Just putting this out there.
> 
> Here, I would like to remind you guys that Natsu, while not necessarily naive, is not particularly perceptive when it comes to social cues and stuff - that's why this chapter comes right after the previous one: contrasting his sensitivity to some things and lack thereof when it comes to some others. In his mind, platonic cuddling is okay because (to me) he seems like the sort of person to compartmentalize without... overlaps (?). So yeah, there's cuddling with girlfriend, but there's also cuddling with a friend. In his mind, why would it be wrong when he didn't intend for it to be romantic? Besides, he'd always done it, so why was it different now? That's how I perceive his mind to work, anyways.
> 
> AlSO. Ask questions guys. Like, when you ask me questions, it ensures I'm not forgetting or overlooking something!
> 
> P.S. Show of hands if y'all would come for me if I have Hibiki call Lucy 'Luce' … in front of… Natsu *evil smile*


	8. Simmering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, by popular vote... Hibiki calling Luce will be a thing. But it won't be too sudden. It won't be for you guys, but it will be for Natsu ;)
> 
> I'm just a tad worried now because not even one person predicted what's going to happen in this chapter (EVEN THE NEXT ACTUALLY), and that makes me nervous that you might not like it. *eyes emoji*. I hope you do, oh gosh. Before you get into this chapter, one thing I need you all to keep in mind is that a central theme of conflict in this fic (so far) is the different ways Natsu and Lucy perceive relationships. I hope that comes through.
> 
> And feel free to send prompts my way! DM on here or on Tumblr! www dot yogicturtle dot tumblr dot com! I love challenges huehue.
> 
> I have responded to reviews in the end so that there won't be spoilers! [ AND IN CASE YOU DOn'T READ IT, JUST WANT TO SAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO LOVED AND THE NUMBER OF REVIEWS HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE FASTER ILY. It means so much to me that there are people out there who love my story! ]

The next day, Hibiki and Lucy were snuggled into one corner of her couch watching something on the visual lacrima, his fingers absent-mindedly playing with her hair. She'd lost track of how long they'd been sitting there like that. He'd helped her with lunch and afterwards they'd just settled into the couch, not moving much except for making out heavily once occasionally.

"Are you nervous?" asked Lucy, as she lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him.

Hibiki snorted. "Of course, I am. Your friends can be… terrifying."

She giggled, brushing a lock of hair out of his face. "They like you. I am sure it's not going to be as bad as you're imagining it."

Hibiki gave her a skeptical look. "Loke already gave me a "speech" but that could easily qualify as a threat. And I'm sure I'm going to receive one from Erza as well. Wouldn't be surprised if Gray threw in a good word. Or two. Possibly Cana." He paused as his hands left her hair to clasp her hand between the two of them. "It's Natsu that's the wild card."

Lucy frowned, cocking her head. "What do you mean? He just-"

"He's super protective of you, you know," explained Hibiki. "I have absolutely no idea how he'll react."

"Relax, Hibiki," she said soothingly. "He's probably going to tease the crap out of us. And then maybe challenge you to a fight. But… that's about it."

Hibiki hummed thoughtfully before kissing her on the side of the head. She looked at him knowingly and nudged him lightly against his shoulder.

"Hey," she said sincerely. "You've got nothing to worry about, I swear. They're my friends. They _have _to like you," she said, chuckling a little bit.

"They're your friends," repeated Hibiki. "They're also your family. So when I think about it, it's like I'm meeting your family. And that…is making me strangely nervous. Is that weird?"

She smiled warmly at him and kissed the corner of his mouth. "No. No it isn't. All I'm saying is that you've got nothing to worry about. You're great."

The evening was colder than they'd anticipated. Holding Mirajane's gift tightly against her chest, teeth chattering and her side nestled against Hibiki's, they walked slowly towards the guild. It took them a little bit longer than usual, but when they finally made it, they paused at the guild doors. His hand closed around hers and he kissed her, hard, making her blink stars from her eyes as she looked at him questioningly.

"What was that for?"

"I was warming you up. Your lips looked cold." He grinned. "Plus, I remembered what you're wearing underneath your jacket and I just had to kiss you."

She blushed hard and shook her head, mostly to clear her thoughts because she knew there was going to be a lot to handle. So many qustions. But she felt prepared.

Five minutes later, Hibiki and Lucy made their way to the bar where Mira sat, this time on the outside while Lisanna took up Mira's usual role as the bartender. Both of them waved at her, eyebrows quirking as they saw Hibiki and then, eyes widening when they saw their intertwined hands. Carefully evading a brawl that had already broken out, the couple made a beeline towards the sisters.

"Happy birthday, Mira," said Lucy warmly, hugging Mira before handing her the gift.

Lucy cleared her throat, her eyes flickering to Hibiki for a moment before she looked at Mira, who was grinning now.

"That's a.. Um, a gift from_ both_ of us," said Lucy, as Hibiki's squeezed her hand gently, reassuring.

"I _told _you," laughed Lisanna, nudging Mira's shoulder.

"I knew you liked him," said Mira smugly.

"Well, _I _knew first, Mira," declared Lisanna. "I said back when we went on that trek that she liked him."

Lucy only laughed nervously before Hibik cut in. "Turns out I like her too," he grinned, earning a couple more excited giggles from the sisters.

And then, Cana popped by out of nowhere, eyes wide as they darted between Hibiki and Lucy. "Well, I'll say," she chuckled, elbowing Lucy. "You _scored _scored, huh."

As Lucy watched Cana move to stand on a table, she murmured an advanced apology to Hibiki as she prepared herself for the chaos that was about to follow.

"Listen up, you idiots," hollered Cana. "Lucy's got a brand new boyfriend."

The brawls in different corners of the guild came to a sudden halt and Lucy practically hid behind her boyfriend as she felt all eyes on her. And just as expected, there was a sudden surge of chaos and movement towards them and Hibiki, looking amused, caught Lucy's elbow and guided her to the nearest bar stool before hopping onto the one next to her.

Ten minutes of questions later, the guild almost went back to normal, now satisfied with all the answers they had received. As expected, both Erza and Gray had a couple of threats to make before Erza hugged the couple, and left. Gray looked at Hibiki grimly before leaving after a firm handshake. Hibiki looked at Lucy pointedly - _See? I was right. _Lucy merely shrugged sheepishly before hte two of them engaged in a conversation with Lisanna, who was still behind the counter.

Mira had left the two of them and was now sitting with Laxus and Erza, debating something about. Finally, after another visual scour of the guild, Lucy decided to ask the question that'd been pressing on her mind since they'd come to the guild.

"Lisanna, where's Natsu?" she asked, looking around the guild once again for a mop of the pink hair.

Lisanna chortled. "I had him go get Mira another cake. He wouldn't keep his hands off the one I baked for her last night and it was finished when I woke up this morning."

"Sounds about right," replied Lucy wryly, as Lisanna chuckled with amusement and excused herself to go into the kitchen.

"Hey, Luce?" said Hibiki, making Lucy look at him, startled, a questioning look on her face.

Hibiki chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Nothing, I was just… trying out a new nickname for you."

Lucy giggled. "Sounds good to me."

"Awesome. That's good to hear…. Babe?" he finished questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

She laughed harder this time before kissing his cheek fondly. "I like that too."

"Sweetie?" he smirked.

Lucy scrunched her nose, before patting his shoulder lightly. "Too cheesy... babe."

Hibiki only chuckled at her response before asking, "Wanna sit at one of those booths? Its quieter there."

Lucy nodded, and the two of them took leave of Lisanna, who'd just appeared again at the counter, before heading to the one of the smaller booths at the guildhall, almost at the far corner of the hall. Soon, Lisanna had gotten them both their milkshakes and a plate of fries, and the two of them engaged in a conversation, looking up only when the doors of the guildhall flew open.

"The cake is here, safe and sound," declared Natsu proudly, earning a few cheers, as he stood in the doorway before walking over to the bar counter towards his girlfriend. As he set the cake down on the counter, he leaned over to give Lisanna a chaste kiss before hopping onto the bar stool.

As Lucy watched, Lisanna and Natsu started to talk until Natsu straightened, looked around and asked Lisanna something. Lisanna seemed to shake her head a little at whatever he had said, spoke to him for a couple of seconds, her hand coming to cover his in between for a moment. Then, she pointed towards where Lucy and Hibiki were sitting. Natsu's gaze flickered over to where Lucy was sitting and she waved an awkward hello his way. His eyes narrowed just a little bit before he stood up and walked over to them, wordlessly sliding into the booth next to Lucy.

"Natsu-" started Lucy but Natsu was looking at Hibiki, who was looking back him coolly.

"So what brings you here?" asked Natsu, cocking his head, and to her confusion, she could sense an underlying threatening tone to his question.

She put a hand on Natsu's shoulder, clearing her throat to get his attention. "He's with me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He's my date."

At that, Natsu looked at Lucy incredulously, then back at Hibiki who was now grinning sheepishly at Natsu. Natsu leaned back, a small frown on his face as he crossed his arms against his chest. "I see."

"Hibiki and I are… um..." Her words are cut off when a mass of blue comes hurtling out of nowhere, to settle on top of Natsu's head this time, mumbling behind his paws about how Lucy and Hibiki liked each other. This time, Lucy scowled at the cat in faux annoyance, asking him to shut it, as usual. And as usual, the exceed only got louder, flying just out of Lucy's reach as he snickered. Hibiki only watched in amusement, eyes on Lucy and oblivious to the occasional suspicious glances Natsu was throwing towards him.

Much to Lucy's surprise and relief, Natsu joined in on the teasing. She wasn't sure why, but despite her reassuring Hibiki that afternoon, a part of her had been apprehensive. She knew that Natsu didn't really like Hibiki that much and had a somewhat skewed perspective about him. But hey, she wasn't complaining. She was glad Natsu took it the way he did without getting mad or making a scene. She was finally starting to feel like things were getting back on track.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

The next few days, Natsu was surprisingly grumpy, making a face everytime Lucy mentioned Hibiki. He made it no secret that he didn't like the guy - something about "vibes" - and now it was just another Thing that people ignored. They even got into a small argument one evening when she tried to kick Natsu out of her apartment because she was going on a date with Hibiki.

"Can't you just cancel?"

"What, of course, I can't," she'd said incredulously, as she pushed him out the door before stepping out herself to lock it behind her.

"But _I'm here _now," he'd whined.

"You wouldn't be if you paid attention to what I was telling you this morning at the guild!" she'd scolded him.

Natsu grunted. "_Fine. _I'll see you after your date then."

"Natsu, after the date we-"

She stopped noting his raised eyebrows and huffed. She didn't want to get into an argument _now _and ruin her mood. "_Fine._"

* * *

"What, _why_?" asked Natsu petulantly, after Lucy told him that she was going to visit Blue Pegasus for a couple of days.

"To see Hibiki," said Lucy casually, quirking a brow at him as if that should've been obvious.

Natsu grimaced. "You know, I still don't see why you have to go out with _him _of all people. Don't you read Sorcer's Weekly? The guy is-"

Lucy cut him off with a glare, shaking her head at him as she went on packing her tiny duffle bag for the next few days. He only grunted and sat on the floor of her bedroom, arms crossed as he glared back at her. She pointedly ignored him.

"See you in two days," she said, when she was finally done packing and slung the duffle bag over her shoulder beforing waving a bye to him and leaving.

* * *

"Luce! I thought you were busy!" he said angrily, glaring at her as she walked into the guild late on evening.

"I was," she said, confused at his anger as she joined him next to the request board.

"Sure you were. I saw you with Hibiki at that restaurant."

Lucy narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes. I was busy."

"You were on a _date_."

"Yes, I was," she said, with barely contained annoyance. "Hibiki has been busy this week so since he was in town, I decided to join him for lunch. _As I said, _I. Was. Busy."

"Being on a date is not being busy," he scoffed. "I don't even know what you see in the guy he-"

He was cut off by Lucy snatching a flyer of the board, clearly angry. "I'm going on this job," she said, turning on her heel and starting to leave. When Natsu started to follow, she glared at him over her shoulder. "_Alone_."

She didn't know why he was acting this way, but it was only getting worse everyday. It was bothering her to no end, and it hurt her that he couldn't just be happy for her.Ever since Mira's party ten days days ago, Natsu had been badmouthing Hibiki every time she'd brought him up. She didn't care whether he was doing it out of concern as he constantly claimed; it had even warmed her heart at first, seeing him worry, but it was starting to bother her to no end now. She _needed _one of her bestfriend to get along with her boyfriend. It was just him that simply _refused _to get along with Hibiki; everyone else had warmed up to him pretty quickly.

* * *

_"What?_"

"Natsu, you're being rude," Lisanna sighed, laying her hand over her boyfriend's.

"What does she see in him, anyway!?" he seethed, glaring as the couple left the guild together. "You don't know him, Lis. He's the worst."

"Oh? Why is that?" she asked tiredly, wiping clean a glass at the barcounter.

"He-He's... He's such a playboy!"

"Because a magazine says so?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, _yeah,_" he said incredulously. "And you didn't see him when we were away to tackle Nirvana. He was being so annoying. Even Lucy was annoyed. And now-"

"And now, she _likes _him," said Lisanna. "You need to trust Lucy. I'm sure she knows what she's doing. And you being so rude all the time to him is just going to push her away."

Natsu sighed as he looked at Lisanna with a weak smile. "You're right. Wouldn't want that."

"No. You wouldn't," she said, leaning over the counter to kiss his cheek. "Besides, they've been dating for more than two months now. So I'm sure there's nothing to-"

"Wait, what?" asked Natsu, straightening as he looked at Lisanna. "_Two_ _months?_ I thought... Mira's birthday...?"

"Yeah, two months," she said, looking at him with surprise. "They only told the _rest of us_ on Mira's birthday."

_"I would explode if I couldn't talk to Levy, you know?"_

_"But you would tell me right? If you… you know, started dating or I don't know, have a crush or whatever. You know you can talk to me?"_

"Natsu?" asked Lisanna, looking at his face with growing concern.

"I didn't know..." he muttered.

Understanding dawned on Lisanna's face and she said warily, "Natsu, they just wanted to keep it under wraps because they wanted to see where it went."

She bit her lower lip in worry, swallowing thickly as he mumbled something under his breath. Hesitantly, she reached out and placed her hands on either side of his face to make him look at her. He looked angry and hurt. She sighed again and grazed his cheek with her thumb before kissing him. She drew back a couple of seconds later, giving him a final peck on the corner of his mouth.

"She hadn't told _anyone,_" she said again. "None of us knew until that day. You only missed out on the details because you were out."

He only nodded and Lisanna let go. Licking her lips, she sighed again and lined up all the clean glasses in the tray. She turned around to put the tray of glasses on the shelf with the wineglasses and when she turned back, she wasn't surprised to see that Natsu had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Think of the last couple of scenes - post Mira's party - as a montage of sorts; to give you an idea of how it was going without having to get into too much detail and boring the crap out of you all lol.
> 
> And don't get mad at Lucy about the "Luce" thing pls, she's a girl with a brand new boyfriend who she really likes. Tis the starting phase, and she's starting to move on so I personally think it'd make sense if she didn't really have any sentimental attachment to that nickname, pls don't hate me omg.
> 
> Next chapter is IT guys. Pivotal to the max. I have already written the last scene of the next chapter. The first scene I actually wrote for this fic and the rest of the fic is literally built around this one oof. Can't say much, but I will say that the next chapter is called 'Can of Worms' wink wink.
> 
> There will be more explanation about Natsu's reaction in the next one so watch out for that Author Note!!


	9. Can of Worms - I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’ALL I AM SO SORRY I HAD TO SPLIT THIS CHAPTER INTO TWO PARTS because the chapter just kept writing itself. [ but don’t worry both are equally DrAmAAAA so ] I’m almost done with Part II and I’ll most likely put it in two days, three days MAXIMUM!! Just giving it another read through to make sure that I didn’t lose any flow while cutting it in two and i'm sleepy as hell ;_;
> 
> ALSO sorry that I didn’t respond to reviews this time, I swear I will in the next one. I’m really sleepy now and before I second guess myself, I have to publish this… And I thought I could address everything together in the next chapter. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK PLS THIS IS SUPER PIVOTAL AND THINGS WILL TURN AROUND NOW. Start to, I mean. [ And no, Lucy won’t cheat on Hibiki. Natsu doesn’t cheat on Lisanna either. I’ll tell you guys more next chapter author note i rpmise i am so sleepi my eyes are barely staying open and as i said, i have to publish immediately so i don’t second guess myself... oof look at me repeatng myself but i had to make sure ]

The sun had started to set and Lucy and Hibiki were heading back to her apartment after a date. Things had definitely become easier between them after they’d told everyone at the guild. Yes, the teasing was sometimes too much, but at least there weren’t anymore lies or suspicious questions being thrown her way. They walked in silence, hand-in-hand. When they turned the corner and entered the street where her apartment was, as per habit, she hopped onto the parapet wall by the canal. 

“You’re gonna fall in headfirst one day, you know,” chuckled Hibiki quietly, still holding her hand in his as she traipsed along the wall. She only squeezed his hand in response, revelling in its warmth.

She loved the way her hand felt so small in his. She hummed softly under breath, until she yelped softly when she felt him tug at her hand. She lost balance and tripped, falling into Hibiki’s chest as he steadied her with another chuckle.

“Told you.”

“Saboteur,” she mumbled, licking her lips as she drew back to frown at him in faux annoyance. “What’d you do that for?”

“We’re here,” he said simply, and she looked over his shoulder to see her apartment building. 

“Oh,” she said slightly disappointed as she looked at him, as he curled his fingers around her again and guided her to the apartment door. They were silent as they trudged up the stairs, hands still locked as the made their way up the stairs upto Lucy’s flat. They stopped in front of her door, and she sighed. 

“Can’t you stay another day?”

Hibiki sighed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I wish I could, Luce,” he said and he raised herself on her toes to give him a kiss. His hands went around her waist, pulling her flush against him and she tilted her head just a bit more to deepen their kiss. She nibbled at his bottom lip, noting with amusement that he tasted like candy; he always did. 

He drew back, slightly breathless, leaning his forehead against hers. “I have to go.”

“Your train isn’t for another two hours,” she whispered hotly against his lips, a hand reaching behind her to twist open the knob of the apartment’s door. 

She felt a mild rumble come from his chest as he leaned forward to kiss her again, pushing her into her apartment. Kicking the door closed, she was pushed against it, his hands finding their way under her shirt as he grazed the bare skin of her hip. She stilled and he stopped as well , drawing his mouth away from her neck as well as his hand from under her shirt to look at her questioningly, patient. She smiled softly, leaning forward to kiss him again while she guided his hand back under her shirt. Feeling him smile against her lips, she hesitated for a second before she let her sneak in through his undershirt as well, grazing the skin of his abdomen lightly. 

“You’re… cold,” she mumbled, surprised. 

He didn’t respond as he went back to her neck, and she nudged against him lightly, pushing him while they kissed in the direction of her couch. They moved so she the back of her legs hit the sofa and she fell on her back, taking him with her as her hands bunched into the material of his shirt. Knees on either side of her hips, he continued, his hands grazing the underside of her breast under the shirt while kissed her. She moaned into his mouth, her hands cupping the back of his neck as she felt one of his hands curl under her knee to wrap it around his waist.

They drew back, breathless, to look at each other. Faces flushed, lips swollen, foreheads glistening in sweat. She could feel the tension in the air, the shift of their dynamic. He kissed her forehead gently and she felt her face warm up again as he eyes fluttered shut. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said quietly. She could only raise her head to catch his lips again. As she did, instinctively she undid one button of his shirt. He stilled but didn’t stop. So she undid another.

“Are you-”

“Not...  _ all  _ the way,” she said shyly, swallowing thickly as she watced realization cross his face, followed by a rush of blood to his cheeks. He kissed the tip of her nose and his hands went to the hem of her shirt, playing with it a little bit. She sat up a little while he still straddled her and raised her hands as he pulled the pale blue top off of her in single motion. 

She started to feel her cheeks blaze when she felt his admiring gaze on her as he bent forward to kiss her, pushing her back to lay down on the couch. She had just raised her hands to lock them behind his neck when she heard the click of a window, followed by a whoosh of wind. There was a patter of footsteps and before she could react, she felt Hibiki being yanked off of her. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” came Natsu’s voice at the same time as Lucy exclaimed the exact same words. 

Hibiki winced out of Natsu’s grip, rubbing the back of his as Lucy shot off the couch instant to look at him with concern. “Are you okay?”

Then she turned out to glare at Natsu, who was standing by the arm of the couch. Much to Natsu’s chagrin, Hibiki moved to stand protectively in front of the half naked Lucy, who was glaring over Hibiki’s shoulder at Natsu. 

“_What’re you doing here_!” she asked Natsu.

He was simply glaring at Hibiki. “I… There was something I needed to talk to you about and good thing I came by too because it looked like this perv-”

“ _ No _ ,” she cut him, sharply, shaking her head warningly. This might just be the first time she was this livid at him not respecting her privacy. Most times, it didn’t matter and she got annoyed but  _ this…  _ “Whatever you saw… I wanted it too,” she said firmly, looking at Natsu unblinkingly as he kept looking at Hibiki with narrowed eyes. 

“ _ Natsu _ !” she hissed again pointedly, because despite what she’d said, Natsu didn’t seem to be backing down. 

She wished she could see Hibiki’s face right now. She could tell he was tense, but her nerves were getting the best of her as he stood still in front of her, making no movement. Just silent. A moment later, she heard him sigh as he turned his back to Natsuand turned around. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. 

“Well, I should get going,” he murmured softly, making Lucy look at him pleadingly. He leaned down to kiss her lips, and over his shoulder she saw Natsu roll his eyes, that simply served to only enrage her further. Her hands tightened their grip on his shirt, almost as if to prove a point, as she deepened the kiss, eyes fluttering shut and kissing Hibiki till he pulled away. 

He shrugged out of his blazer to wrap it around his girlfriend’s bare shoulders before shooting Natsu a glare. It didn’t go unnoticed by Natsu, and he only returned a cool stare, an eyebrow raised almost skeptically. Lucy tried her best to quell the surging irritation at how Natsu was acting and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking at Hibiki, eyes soft as she brushed a lock of his hair out of his face. 

“It’s alright,” he said, kissing her forehead.

She pulled his blazer tighter over her as she buttoned it up and followed him to the door as he stepped past her. He paused in the doorway and opened his mouth to say something, something that was making his face warm up, but he seemed to remember there was a guest. 

“Natsu,” he said, voice tight, as he looked at the miffed Dragon Slayer over Lucy’s shoulder. “Nice to see you, as always.”

Then, his eyes softened as he looked at Lucy.

“I’ll see you next week, Luce,” he murmured, as he leaned forward to plant a final chaste kiss on her lips before he disappeared down the corridor and down the stairs. When she heard the door downstairs open and close, she closed the door to her apartment and turned around to see that Natsu was now sitting on the couch, gaze still on her, an unfamiliar emotion flickering in them.

“Did he just call you ‘Luce’?” asked Natsu, voice oddly neutral, making Lucy forget her anger momentarily as confusion took over. What a strange question… After what’d just happened,  _ that’s  _ his point of concern?! What was up with this guy! 

“What about it?” she asked, annoyed, crossing her arms. 

He ground his teeth but said nothing, looking away instead before inhaling deeply and looking at her again. “I  _ told  _ you he was sleazeball,” he said pointedly, making Lucy’s jaw drop in disbelief. 

“ _ What. _ ”

“Yeah, what a pervert,” he scoffed, gesturing at Lucy’s state of semi-undress.

“ _ Stop. Saying. That _ ,” said Lucy through gritted teeth. She walked closer to Natsu, glowering at him. “Did you not hear what I said?  _ I wanted it too. _ ”

He looked at her skeptically again, making her anger shoot through the roof because she simply could not understand why he wanted to hate Hibiki  _ this  _ much. So much that he wouldn’t listen to reason. That he wouldn’t even believe her. 

“You’re not the kind of-”

She snapped, purposefully using crude words out of spite, just to see him squirm with discomfort because she was tired of the way he was behaving. “What? You think I’m not the kind of girl that likes being touched? Pleasured? And kissed? Have my boyfriend’s lips on my bare skin and his fingers play with my-”

“Shut up,” he growled.

“ _ Grow up _ ,” she bit back. “He’s my  _ boyfriend _ , Natsu. And he’s a great guy. He would  _ never  _ do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.”

“Don’t you think you’re going way too fast and-”

She spluttered incredulously and for a change, he had the good sense to shut up when he saw her expression. “I’ll have you know, first of all,” she started, drawing in a deep breath. “That it’s none of your business.”

She could see her tone made him nervous.  _ Good.  _

“That said, I  _ told  _ you, to  _ please  _ use the door!” she said, voice rising. “I can’t have you just walk in and out  _ anytime  _ you want!”

Natsu froze, and then narrowed his eyes. “Is that why you talked about boundaries that day?”

“Yes. Yes, Natsu, that is why,” said Lucy, pursing her lips. “It would be pretty weird if my boyfriend found you in bed with me, don’t you think?”

He scowled at her, taking a moment to glare at the floor before looking up at her again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What?” she asked, confused. “I did…. I told ev-”

“Lis said you’d been dating for more than two months… That day when I asked you…”

Lucy felt the fight drain from her. This was a conversation she didn’t want to have simply because she didn’t know how to explain herself. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but her throat dried up and she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort.

“I wanted to see where it went before-” she started mechanically. 

“I thought I was your best friend!” 

“You are-”

“Then why are you hiding things from me!” he asked finally, because this is what it ultimately boiled down to. 

She felt sweat pooling at the back of her neck and felt small under his scrutiny. She started to deny it, but he scowled at her.

“ _ No _ . No.” he said, cutting her off as he walked closer to her. “Don’t tell me it’s nothing. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, Luce. I knew you’ve been hiding something. I knew something was up. Why won’t you tell me! Do you not trust me or something?” 

“That’s not it,” she muttered, starting to feel small in his scrutiny.

“You promised me that you would talk to me! Then why would you-”

“Natsu, please, just let it go,” she sighed, rubbing her temples, her heart beating fast as she felt like she was back in the unpleasantly unfamiliar  _ discomfort  _ zone she’d been in before she’d taken that solo job. 

“I’m not going to let it go!” he seethed. “You  _ lied  _ to me. I asked you, over and over again, and you lied to me. Why couldn’t you just  _ tell  _ me? What are you so afraid of?”

That question made her almost laugh. Oh, she’d been afraid of so many things. She was still afraid of so many things. One thing being the nagging feeling that was beginning to settle into her gut as she took in his agitated face as he kept saying things. Things about her and how she seemed so closed off. That he wanted her go back to “normal”. That he didn’t like the distance between them… Why she seemed so careful around him… 

_ How she deserved better than that sleazeball, Hibiki.  _

She felt her eyes start to fill up, angry tears. Tired tears, disbelieving of how things were panning out. After everything she’d been carefully avoiding, after the days of feeling like her heart was being ripped out of her chest… When finally, she was here, feeling so  _ so  _ much better…  _ Now this.  _

“I am starting to move on, why can’t you just be  _ happy  _ for me!” she said angrily at last, wiping the tears off her face, cutting him off from whatever he was saying. 

“Move on? From what?” asked Natsu confused and mellow suddenly, his voice dropping as if he could sense the change in the air around her.

“From  _ you _ ,” she snapped, making him draw back in shock and though a small part of her was screaming at her to shut up, she found herself drawing in lungfuls of air as she made no attempt to filter what she was saying.

“Don’t be this difficult,  _ please.  _ Let it go,” she pled and sighed deeply, taking a shuddering breath. “I’m finally moving on from you. Just… Please,  _ let _ me.” 

He said nothing for a few seconds. She reluctantly tore her gaze from the floor to look up at him and the terror that was starting to take root in her only amplified. Terror that she’d thought had long taken a back seat. Terror that came from the fear of rejection. Terror that the most important person in her world would never look her in the eye again. That he would leave.

“I have to go,” he said, voice suddenly low and just like that, he slipped out of the window. She made no move to stop him. Rooted to her spot, she stared at the open window, at the curtains that billowed in the wind. 

She let herself fall to the floor, and sat cross-legged. Biting down on her lower lip, she tried to breathe deeply and refused to shed any tears. She breathed, focusing on her slow breathing till she felt calm. A fragile kind of calm, almost brittle and shell-like in its quality, that could crack with the slightest of pressures. The kind that came with denial and blind optimism that everything would be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first scene I had actually written in this fic. Natsu’s going to be Jerk Mode: *On* for a little while now. Please put up with him :( Chapter 13 or 14 onwards, the POV will shift to Natsu’s and you’ll finally know what’s going on in that head of his - including his reaction in this chapter and his take on a couple of things that have already happened so far. Until then… pls be patient with him. And me. Sorry if this disappointed you :( And also sorry that I had to split this in two :( 
> 
> [ And the kind of calm I’ve tried to describe towards the end… To put it in the simplest, most relateable way - You know when you have an exam and the night before, you read the syllabus once and tell yourself that everything’s going to be okay and you’ll do well because you read stuff once? That. ]


	10. Can of Worms - II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the starting scene is the same as the ending scene of the last chapter. I've added a couple more things, more of a mind-frame thing, that I had to cut out from the previous chapter because it was overflowing :P

“I am starting to move on, why can’t you just be _ happy _for me!” she said angrily, wiping the tears off her face.

“Move on? From what?” asked Natsu, his voice dropping as he asked softly.

“From _ you _,” she snapped, making him draw back in shock and though a small part of her was screaming at her to shut up, she found herself drawing in lungfuls of air as she made no attempt to filter what she was saying. 

“It was so _ hard. _ I had nowhere to go, no one to talk to and I felt like I was being crushed from the inside!” she said, her voice loud as the tears finally came. “And... Hibiki was there. He helped me. So much. I was heartbroken and he helped putting it back together! And now… It’s ironic really, that _ you’re _ here, telling me that I deserve better.” 

She let out a bitter laugh. “The gods really must hate me,” she muttered, sniffling. “This was not how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to be happy for me. Not so..._ mad _. Not after everything I’ve been through. ”

She sighed deeply, taking a shuddering breath. “Look, I’m finally moving on from you. Just… Please, let me.” 

Then there was silence as neither of them said anything. With a sigh, her gaze dropped to the floor. She could see his feet, and he remained still. She inhaled deeply, waiting for a sense of lightness to envelope her because she’d just lightened her shoulders of a very heavy burden. She was supposed to feel light. Feathery. 

The feeling never came. 

The longer she stared at his feet, the more his stillness reiterated itself in her mind. Slowly, as the rage and frustration wore away, Lucy finally heard the alarm bells ringing off in her head. The gravity of her words began to settle around them and she felt sweat pool on the back of her neck. Her eyes teared up again as she had the sickening realization of what she’d said . This was supposed to be the secret she took with her to her grave. No one was supposed to know. _Ever_. Least of all, _him_. Admittedly she’d considered the idea of this becoming a funny story to talk about. _Eventually. _But now… no. Definitely not. She wondered if she was imagining the way the air was changing around her, becoming thicker. She stared at the floor, not saying another word, too afraid to look at him. The silence seemed to drag on and she felt like she could hear her heartbeat thunder in her ears. 

Unable to take it anymore, she reluctantly tore her gaze from the floor to look up at him and the terror that was starting to take root in her only amplified. Terror that she’d thought had long taken a back seat. Terror that came from the fear of rejection. Terror that the most important person in her world would never look her in the eye again. That he would leave.

She wanted to apologize, anything to remove that impassive look on his face that was bordering on fury. His eyes were hard and her throat was too dry to get the two words of apology out of her mouth. She took a hesitant step forward and felt her chest constrict when he took a step back. 

“I have to go,” he said, voice low and just like that, he slipped out of the window. She made no move to stop him. Rooted to her spot, she stared at the open window, at the curtains that billowed in the wind. 

She let herself fall to the floor, and sat cross-legged. Biting down on her lower lip, she tried to breathe deeply and refused to shed any tears. She breathed, focusing on her slow breathing till she felt calm. A fragile kind of calm, almost brittle and shell-like in its quality, that could crack with the slightest of pressures. The kind that came with denial and blind optimism that everything would be okay. 

* * *

Lucy woke up the next morning feeling very disoriented. It took her a couple of minutes, but memories of last night came flooding back to her and she suddenly felt breathless. She sat up in bed, hands on her head as she tried to calm herself down. Her first instinct was to come up with an explanation to what she’d said, a workaround that she could use to spin her words into a different context entirely. 

She got out of bed and dragged her feet to the bathroom, going through her morning routine almost robotically, ignoring the worry gnawing at her. Ignoring the voice telling her that she’d done exactly what she had decided not to do, and the result had been everything she’d been afraid of. 

He had left.

And now, she wasn’t sure if she could look him in the eye. 

With chagrin, she thought to herself that maybe she wouldn’t need to because he wouldn’t look her in the eye either. He had looked so angry, not in that burning way of his, but there had been something cold about it, borderline impassive about it. For the first time since she’d met him, she hadn’t been able to get a read on him, and the thought scared her. The thought made her shiver and as she finished her shower, she wondered if she should just maybe stay in all day. She didn’t really feel like leaving the comfort of her house today. 

Sighing, she slipped into her pajamas and sat at her desk, legs crossed as she stared at the blank piece of paper instead of her. It’d been so long since she’d written to her mother. There was so much to say. 

* * *

She’d avoided the guild for two whole days. It didn’t help that Natsu hadn’t visited even once since he’d left. And now, after two days, she felt like breaching that distance would be all the more difficult. Groaning as she sat up in her bed, she dragged herself to the bathroom, deciding it was now or never. Besides, the rent wasn’t gonna pay itself. 

Half an hour later, when she stepped out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to leave, she froze to see Natsu perched on the window sill, eyes searching her room before they found her. She stared at him, surprised at his appearance in the first place. She stood without moving, hesitant as she took in his presence. 

“You’re… okay,” he said slowly.

She frowned. “Of course, I am. Why would you-”

“You haven’t been to the guild in two days,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, muscles tense as he held on to the window for dear life. 

“Oh,” she said softly, unsure what to say. It upset her to see him so agitated, but even now, she wasn’t sure if she’d be welcome to go near him, so she stood rooted to the spot, trying to ignore the akward air around them. She hated the guilt wrenching her from the inside, and it made her angrier at herself. 

_ Me and my big mouth. _

And that particular thought only ended in a vicious circle of sorts where she felt annoyed over her guilt and anger because if anything _ she _ should be angry at _ Natsu _ for continuously badmouthing Hibiki and provoking her into saying _ that. _Really, that should be what she was mad about, but instead, she was drowning in guilt for confessing her feelings and for making things strange between them. And for being the reason why he didn’t know how to behave around her. 

She sighed and started to say something when Natsu cut her off. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, making her look at him with scrunched eyebrows to see that he looked like he’d just had a realization of some sort. “I know what you said about... boundaries… and stuff… I just…”

“It-It’s alright,” she said, edging towards him. 

An apology was on the tip of her tongue when he started talking, shifting uneasily on his perch, making her freeze again. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around at the guild.”

And he was gone. 

Once again, she stared at the window, the curtains still in reflection of the particularly quiet morning. She felt fear crawl up to her chest as she wondered if this was how it was gonna be. She had always known, deep inside, that saying _ anything _was a bad idea. For the first time, she hated that she’d been right. Once again, her eyes welled up with tears but she refused to let them fall. 

She felt frustrated and alone.

There was a sudden pulse of warmth at her hip and she jumped when she heard Loke. “I can go beat him up if you’d like.”

She shook her head, blinking her tears away. “It’s… fine. I did… drop a bomb on him after all. He probably just needs some time,” she said, sounding unconvinced of her own words.

She looked at Loke with a watery smile, making him sigh as he pulled her into a hug. She was rigid at first but then melted into his arms, sniffling lightly. 

“I’m so stupid.”

“If anything, he’s the stupid one, Princess,” chuckled Loke. “I’m glad you said something. I promise, with this off your chest, you’ll be happier.”

She looked at him skeptically, wiping her eyes as if to make a point. 

“Well, not today,” he agreed. “But in a few days, you will be. You’ll see.”

She didn’t believe that. She just wanted Natsu to look her in the eye again, and not inch back everytime she took a step forward. She wanted to stop being trapped in a vicious cycle of guilt, anger and self-hatred and go back to what she was feeling exactly what she was feeling before Natsu had shown up at her apartment two nights ago, unannounced.

Everything was alright then. Everything had, in fact, been perfect. She’d been content and happy in her boyfriend’s arms. Her heart hadn’t been aching. Natsu and her were still best friends, two nights ago. And now, she felt lost and unsure of herself. She was tired of things going wrong just when things started to look up. 

* * *

She made her way slowly to the guild hall slowly, unsure, taking slow steps deliberately. She wasn’t sure what she’d find there. She knew her fears were unfounded, but her mind always had the tendency to get the better of her…

Did everyone know? Did _ Lisanna _ know? Would she look at her differently now? Would the rest of them be mad at her for being so thoughtless? Would she have to sit by herself and start going on solo missions because of the way Natsu was being now? Maybe it would make the entire team uncomfortable. She couldn’t possibly ask her friends to _ choose _ sides… _ Will _there be sides to choose? Would she have to-

“Lucy,” said Loke next to her, squeezing her shoulder lightly, startling her out of her thoughts. He had offered to walk to the guild with her despite her insistence that she was fine. Unsurprisingly, forcing his gate closed had him only open one on his own as he materialized again smugly. 

_ “You need a friend right now,” _ he’d said. _ “I’m here as your friend, not your celestial spirit.” _

She’d grudgingly let him walk with her, secretly grateful for the company, though she’d made him promise that he’d walk in silence with her without any comments. He’d agreed, but now when she looked at him, he was looking at her knowingly. “I can practically _ hear _you overthinking.”

She smiled sheepishly, but her fear lingered, making Loke stop in his tracks as he turned to her. 

“Look, all your overthinking is just your mind creating all the possibilities. You don’t know if they’re real,” he said. “Just… focus on what you _ know _, Princess. It will help.”

Lucy nodded, worrying her lower lip. “I _ know _ that Natsu knows how I feel... _ felt... _ about him…” she started, her voice shaking just a little bit. 

Loke nodded, waiting for her to continue. 

“I _ know _ that… he hates me now.”

“No,” said Loke firmly. “You _ don’t _know that.”

“Why else would he…” she drew in a shuddering breath, reminding herself of the words she’d said less than an hour ago. “He just needs time, that’s all.”

Loke saw through her act, and how unconvinced she looked. But the shaky smile she’d managed to put on her face was good enough. For now. So instead of saying anything else, smiling at her, he looped his arm around hers and the two continued walking towards the guilt. 

* * *

At the guild, everyone looked up in surprise to see Loke walk in with Lucy. Then of course, there were pleasantries exchanged. And then of course, to no one’s surprise, a brawl broke out, Loke at the centre of it this time. 

“I’ve missed this,” he said loudly making Lucy grin as she headed to the job request board.

Once there, her eyes flickered across each of the flyers slowly as she put all her concentration into it. She had contemplated just taking a solo job again, but it somehow felt like that would just be a step backward. This time, a solo job would be her Plan B. Her Plan A was to find the perfect job, take it to Natsu, or even better, _ Happy _ , and ask about it. And see how _ that _ went. That way, she’d… _ know _… where things were between them.

_ Sounds like a good plan. _

Her planning was interrupted by Erza, who was standing next to her curiously. “What’re you doing, Lucy?”

“Er… Looking for a job?”

“Did that idiot not tell you?” Erza huffed, thrusting a flyer in Lucy’s face. “I found this job this morning for us. It’s been a while since Natsu, Gray, you and I have gone on a mission.”

And while Lucy took the flyer and read it, Erza leaned forward, a frown on her face. “Did he really not tell you? I sent him this morning to tell you about it.”

Lucy felt her heart drop. She lowered the flyer slowly to look at Erza. “No he did not,” she said with a tight smile. She felt that familiar tingling sensation under her eyes; a sure sign that she was about to burst into tears. 

_ Now I know _, she thought bitterly.

As if on cue, Loke emerged from the middle of the brawl, eyes finding her from across the hall questioningly. Natsu, had just stood up to dust himself off. His gaze met hers, before flickering over to Erza and then at the flyer crumbled in Lucy’s fist. His eyes widened just a little bit, as if realization crossed him and he opened his mouth to say something. 

“_ OW!” _he yelped, turning around furiously to see Loke standing behind him.

“What was that for, man!” he said, rubbing the back of his head from where thin wisps of smoke were rising from the tips of his hair Loke had managed to singe. 

Loke dusted his suit nonchalantly and looked at Natsu with faux apology. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t quite see you there,” he said, flexing his fingers just a little bit before stuffing his hands into his pocket lazily and walking over to Lucy to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Natsu started to say something indignantly but Erza, Loke and Lucy were already on their way out as Gray joined them outside, hollering at ‘Flame Brain’ to keep up. Lucy purposefully walked ahead of the rest of the group, Loke trailing right behind her almost protectively with Gray, while Erza and Natsu trailed behind, Happy perched on his shoulder. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya know, initially I was going to have Natsu be all nervous and be like “I was going to ask Lisanna to come instead” and then Lucy getting like, REALLY, really upset. But that just felt…. So RUDE and out of character mean, (and TOO on the nose) and I just couldn’t do that to my baby Lucy. I even wrote it out, but I got so sad and couldn’t find a way to write Lucy forgiving Natsu for such a bitchy move. So I thought this would be a better way xD


	11. Silent Impasse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I feel like there are some things I need to clarify because some of you seem so angry in the reviews that it’s sort of… confused me and even upset me a little bit because apparently I didn’t make that clear in my writing :/ . BUT that said, I am going to clarify those things and put you all at ease!
> 
> 1\. By ‘jerk-mode’, I don’t mean in the douchebag sense. Natsu would never purposely hurt Lucy no matter how angry he is. I meant ‘jerk’ from the POV of Lucy because I thought I’d already established in the beginning that she’s an overthinker.
> 
> 2\. And well, personally, I think Natsu leaving was maybe not justified but understandable. Won’t you need time to process if your bestfriend of a long time was sobbing as they told you that they’d been trying to move on from you? [ I guess I projected my life on to that, and lets just say my bestfriend wasn’t half as nice as Natsu ]. 
> 
> 3\. I never said Natsu is dense. I specifically said he wasn’t in one of the chapters. He’s only dense when it comes to social cues because imo, being raised by a dragon, he doesn’t compartmentalize things as much as Lucy does. Hence his lack of understanding why he thought it wasn’t weird if he shared a bed with a girl who wasn’t his girlfriend. So yes, I’m sorry if I in anyway implied Natsu is dense; he isn’t. That was the point of all of Chapter 6.
> 
> 4\. Also, please stop hating on Lucy for lying to Natsu? She only lied about her feelings. Do you know how gut-wrenching it is to realize that you’re crushing on your bestfriend who is already dating someone else? No one is EVER that brave to confess. 
> 
> 5\. And Hibiki and Lucy dating, that wasn’t a lie either. They just wanted to be able to put a label to things before they made it public, which I think is a pretty normal thing to do. 
> 
> 6\. And also, @Guest and @SadVibezz who both felt like Natsu should’ve gone with Lisanna. I didn’t do it because that would’ve been an extremely jerk-move to do right after someone confessed their feelings for you (I would know). That would’ve been out of character for Natsu and Natsu would never hurt her purposely. So idk. 
> 
> I’m overall just a tad confused because I’ve suddenly made so many people angry, omg. I don’t understand, I thought I was being clear from the start that Lucy is an overthinker and that you will see Natsu’s side of things. I’m sorry if it looks like I’m overreacting, I’m a very sensitive person unfortunately :P
> 
> The reason I didn’t explore Natsu and Lisanna too much will be revealed later. I’m sure it’s going to disappoint some of you all but I hope you understand. I’ll explain that decision in the author’s notes when the time comes. 
> 
> I hope this chapter isn’t too shit, lol.

Lucy was quiet most of the time. More than anything, it was because she didn’t know what to say, or how to carry herself. She found herself wishing she was back home, curled under her covers. 

She’d told Natsu. He had reacted in a way that hurt, yes, but didn’t surprise her. He still hadn’t said a word to her apart from a ‘ _ Watch out! _ ’’ during their job when one of the dark wizards they’d been dealing with had thrown an attack her way. Then, a questioning look on his face as he looked at her; she’d nodded at him reassuringly, her whip in hand and before she could say anything, he’d shot off to attack someone else. The band of dark wizards had been easy enough to subdue because all in all, there were four of them, committing petty crimes with the little power they had against the villagers that had hired them. 

Which brought back to mind the fact that he hadn’t told her about the job. That had hurt more than anything, and no matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise, she couldn’t help it. 

She considered going to Blue Pegasus after this job was done for a change of scenery. She felt a little bit lighter already at the thought of going there. She toyed with the idea of talking to Hibiki about all of this and started to gnaw at her lower lip because as nice being able to talk to somebody about it sounded, she couldn’t be sure how he would receive the news. But then again, Hibiki was level-headed and it wouldn’t be so bad because it didn’t  _ matter  _ anymore, right?

She rubbed her temples tiredly and tucked her hands under her cheek. Her eyes flickered around the room to see Gray sprawled on the couch and Erza on the twin bed next to her, snoring gently. Purposefully avoiding the sleeping form of the dragon slayer in the bedding on the floor, she looked at Happy. The blue exceed was curled up into her stomach, purring softly and Lucy was grateful for the familiar presence. Her fingers went to softly stroke the blue cat’s fur between his fears and his purring got slightly louder as he leaned into her touch. She couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped her and she sighed.

“I am really stupid, aren’t I, Happy?” she said quietly, watching the cat sleeping. She thought of how much easier he was to talk to when he was asleep and not annoying the crap out of her. She was sure if he was awake, the exceed would’ve responded with a snotty ‘ _ I’m glad you finally realized, Lushi’ _ . 

He wouldn’t have been wrong, she thought with chagrin and let out a frustrated grunt, sitting up in the bed to run a hand over her face. This closed space was becoming too much for her and though she wanted to sleep it off, sleep wouldn’t come. Throwing aside her covers, she stood up and treaded lightly over to the window, yanking it open so she could stick her head out of it, greedily inhaling lungfuls of fresh air. Her eyes fell shut as she let the cold air prick her skin, revelling in the tangibility of what she felt at the moment. The air was so cold that it scalded her lungs, but it felt good. It helped her ground herself and let her escape her own mind for a bit. 

When her feet started to hurt, she drew her head back in and closed the window softly. Dragging her feet to the bed, she slipped into it lazily, resuming her previous position. Absentmindedly, her gaze roved around the room again and she noted with amusement that Gray was half on the floor now. Erza’s snores had gotten louder. Unwittingly, she looked in the direction Natsu was laying in and she was startled to meet his eyes. He was staring at her quietly, and she held his gaze, her throat running dry. Swallowing thickly, she was the first to look away and wordlessly, she moved, turning to her other side to stare at the grey wall. 

It was no use though. She could feel his gaze burning into her back and she curled into herself more, clenching her eyes shut. She tried to regulate her breathing as she kept repeating in her mind to ignore it and tried to will herself to fall asleep. It took a lot of her strength to not let out an irritated groan because this was getting tiring. 

Was this how it would be from now on?

Would they never be able to look each other in the eye again? 

Was that how delicate their friendship had been? 

Was it her fault?

Probably. 

She snorted at that and brought her knees to her chest, burying her head in the valley between them. 

Things were getting better and she’d ruined it…

She tensed when she heard the rustling of sheets, followed by the soft patter of feet against the hardwood floor. Curiosity got the better of her and she lifted her head off the pillow to look over her shoulder, when she gasped in surprise. Natsu was towering over her, brows scrunched into a frown as he looked at her with a mix of frustration and nervousness. She pursed her lips and waited for him to say something. 

“Look,” he inhaled deeply. “I didn’t mean to…  _ not  _ tell you.” Pause. “About the job. I was… worried, so when I saw you were okay, I just… forgot.” Another inhale. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Honest.”

She blinked at him, her eyes becoming blurry despite herself. “O-Okay,” she said softly, nodding. “I believe you.”

“Good,” he said with a serious nod. 

Then he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, and looked like he was about to say something. Lucy waited, watching him with hope that he would say something.  _ Anything _ . She watched the conflict raging on his face, his struggle with words and unsurety and hesitation etched on his face, till she couldn’t anymore. It didn’t look like he was going to say anything anytime soon. She sighed and turned away from him. 

“Thanks, Natsu,” she said softly. “Good night.”

He sighed as well. “Good night, Lucy.”

* * *

The next morning wasn’t any better. She still felt a weight in her chest, and she knew he was watching her when he thought she wasn’t looking. If her other teammates noticed, they didn’t say anything, though she was very well aware of the concerned looks exchanged between Erza and Gray. 

Now, they were walking back to the nearest town to catch a train despite Natsu’s severe protesting because they’d gotten to the village on foot, so it was only fair that they went back the quicker way. Natsu was disgruntled obviously, and he was grumbling under his breath. 

Lucy was walking at the back of the group, lost in thought, oblivious to the look of understanding Gray and Erza exchanged. She didn’t notice when Erza started to lag behind when Gray engaged Natsu in an argument; it was almost too easy. 

“You alright, Lucy?” asked Erza quietly, startling Lucy out of her thoughts. 

“Yes, of course!” she said brightly. 

Erza’s gaze flickered over to Natsu and Gray, now walking quietly ahead. “Did you and Natsu fight or something?”

Lucy felt her muscles tense, because how in the world was she supposed to respond to that. She couldn’t lie, not so blatantly. But were they really fighting? Was this a fight? She of course couldn’t tell her what had really happened, because she’d sworn to take that secret to the grave; she’d broken that promise to herself and look where it’d landed her. 

Carefully and calculatedly, she said, “Not exactly.”

Erza looked at her skeptically. “Even Happy has been unusually quiet, Lucy. What is the matter? It isn’t like you to not say anything to each other for so long.”

The statement about Happy startled her. She looked up to see Happy flying overhead, steadily. He had in fact been unusually quiet. Had Natsu told Happy? That thought only made her all the more uncomfortable, and she wanted to hug herself; she settled for crossing her arms tightly against her chest. 

“It’s just… you know, the regular stuff,” she said, hating how her voice cracked slightly. 

“Lucy,” sighed Erza, tentatively wrapping an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “We’re nakama. You can trust me. I can tell something’s bothering you.”

“Erza, I really… don’t want to talk about it,” she said quietly. 

Erza almost protested, but instead, settled for squeezing Lucy’s shoulder reassuringly. “But you’ll both be okay?”

“Of course,” said Lucy, not believing her own words as she let out a strangled chuckle. 

* * *

Lucy sat rigidly on the train ride home, staring at the blur landscape as the train whizzed past towns, villages and countryside. Her hands were clenched in tight fists on either side as she sat stiffly against the seat, trying her best not to touch the dragon slayer snoring in her lap. 

At some point during their journey, Natsu got so nauseous he could barely straight. She’d been gazing out of the window forlornly, chin in her hand as her elbow rested against the window sill of the train window, when she felt a movement beside her. Startled, she’d looked to her right to see Natsu frowning with indgination, lips pursed tightly as he huffed at her. She only looked at him quizzically, wary of actually being puked on, when he gave a frustrated shake of his head and let his head fall in her lap. 

Her heart had started to beat out of her chest as she stared at him. He groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes and before long he had dozed off. She’d continued to stare, trying to fix on whether she was confused or relieved. Did this mean that things were okay again? 

She simply sat there tensely, not knowing what to do or how to react. She wanted to think that this was it. This would actually be a typically Natsu-way of a conclusion - no talk, only action. But she couldn’t be sure. She felt frustration fill her and had half a mind to shake him awake and demand an explanation. 

She felt Happy perch on her shoulder and give her a soft nudge against her cheeks. When she looked at him, he was looking at her with troubled eyes. “Are you mad at Natsu, Lushi?”

Her eyes widened with surprise and she shook her head vehemently. “What? Of course, not. Why would you think that?”

Happy sighed as he made himself comfortable on her shoulder and leaned against her face. “I don’t know. Natsu was so moody when we left for this job. He warned me not to tease or say anything “mean”. I’m not mean, am I Lushi?”

“Oh, Happy, of course, not. Sure, you can be a little annoying sometimes,” she said with a chuckle, making Happy’s eyes fill with tears. “ _ But  _ that’s okay. I love you anyway.”

Sniffling, Happy looked at Natsu’s sleeping form before looking at Lucy again. “You’re sure you’re not angry?”

She smiled sadly at him. “To tell you the truth, Happy, I think I made Natsu angry this time.”

Happy’s eyes widened. “What?  _ You  _ made Natsu angry? That’s impossible!”

“It sure isn’t,” she said, shaking her head. 

“What did you do, Lushi?” asked Happy. “If you tell me, maybe I can make it better. I hate it when you fight,” he said petulantly. 

Lucy chuckled quietly. “Thanks Happy, but there’s nothing you can do this time.”

“But what did you do?” Happy pressed, voice laced with worry. 

Lucy sighed and turned away from Happy to look at the countryside again. “I told him something I shouldn’t have.”

She regretted it. She didn’t feel relieved that it was off her chest at all. She hated how much she was obsessing over it. How she was observing almost every move he made and worrying over what it could mean for their friendship. She tried not to fault him, but she felt only a little bitter that he wasn’t saying a thing about it; the silence made it worse in her mind as she thought of the possibilities. Maybe she had damaged their friendship for good and it wasn’t talking about anymore. Or he couldn’t bring himself to tell her. She wished he would rip it off, like a bandaid, just so this  _ tension _ between them would stop weighing her down. 

She found it difficult to breathe when he was around; not the way he left her breathless and giddy. But in an uncomfortable suffocating way that strained her,  _ drained  _ her physically with all the effort she had to make to avoid his gaze or mind the way she was around him lest anything could be misconstrued as her being affectionate  _ romantically.  _ She wanted to dispel all and any idea that she felt that way anymore, but it was difficult when he wouldn’t talk to her or actively avoided her gaze as much as she did. 

She wished she could just demand an explanation, but that’d be unfair. He needed space. She wished she knew where they stood, irrespective of whether it was a positive or negative standing. The ambiguity was beginning to weigh more and more on her, but she also didn’t want to push him. This couldn’t have been easy for him to hear, she knew; especially not in the way she’d told him. But she wanted to be selfish and get this over with. 

It was an impasse and she didn’t want to be the first to break it. But she was tired of feeling this way.  She wanted to  _ know. Needed  _ to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if this chapter wasn't what you expected ;( This was important so I could show you that he didn't NOT care. He did. He's just... dealing, you know? What do you think Lucy's gonna do?


	12. Full Circle

* * *

** _Chapter 12: Full Circle_ **

* * *

It’s been about two weeks since that night and there she was at the guild, nervously sipping milkshake as she contemplated what to do about her next job. She needed rent money and there was no putting it off any longer. She was tempted to go on a solo job, but she worried about if that might come off as passive-aggressive on her part and would set in stone how things would be from now on. She didn’t want to be the one who left on a mission without her partner; usually, she wouldn’t think too much about it, but now, she couldn’t help but overanalyze every move on her part just to make sure that _ she _was not the one who was saying or doing anything that could be misconstrued or interpreted in a way that would damage their friendship any further. She didn’t want to be the one to have just “left” in the middle of their “fight” and take away any potential opportunity for him to talk to her. 

She’d done enough, she felt, and she didn’t want to contribute to it.

True, she was agitated. Frustrated to the point that Hibiki had sensed it when they’d met up after she had returned from their mission a couple of days ago. Seeing his soft expression and the way his brows scrunched in concern, she’d almost told him. It had taken great resolve on her part not to say anything for fear of ruining things with him as well. Instead, she’d chuckled lightly and dismissed it all; he didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t press her either. For that, she was grateful. 

Maybe. 

_ Maybe _, if he’d pressed enough she would have told him. 

_ Maybe _-

She groaned, as she begged her mind to give her a break. She was worried about enough as is. Sitting straight, she sullenly sipped the last of her milkshake and started to hop off when she caught sight of Natsu stepping into the guild. 

She automatically froze as their eyes met, and he started walking towards her, face almost resolute. Her heart pounded, and she started to heave a sigh of relief. _ Finally _. She waited, settling back on the stool as she watched him make way across the guildhall. He came to a stop right next to her and she looked up at him expectantly. He opened his mouth to say something, but then his eyes closed tightly and he huffed. 

Her heart sank. She’d become familiar with this routine. They were going to get nowhere, but yet, she waited, hopeful. And just as expected, he nodded at her in greeting and turned to face the bartop counter, eyes searching for Mira. 

No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t help the bitterness that started to creep into her. A sense of frustration peaked at the back of her mind as she remembered her solo mission, all the letters she wrote to her mother, the dreadful feeling of isolation, the way she had kept putting herself out of her comfort zone _ just so she could be normal _around her best friend.

And for what?

For this?

All she would get from him would be a nod; she didn’t even deserve a ‘good morning’ or even a ‘hello’, now? So this was how it was going to be, was it? 

She sat stiffly in her seat as Natsu waited for Mira to show up, staring straight ahead as she mulled it over in her head. Inhaling deeply, she started to say something and noticed him tense in response. She licked her lips nervously and felt his waiting gaze on her. 

_ Say it. _

_ Ask him. _

“I’m sorry, can we please forget I said anything?” she said at last, her words coming out in a quick breath. 

She didn’t look at his face, afraid of what she might find there. She did hear him sit on the stool next to her, and she found herself getting fidgety when he didn’t say anything. 

“I mean… _ that _night. It was stupid. I shouldn’t have,” she said. “But you know me, me and my big mouth,” she added, letting out a strained chuckle.

_ Are we still friends? _She wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t leave her mouth. 

She still refused to look at him, but maybe she should have because she would have then seen the agitation on his face as he looked at her. Agitation peppered with a little bit of anger and hurt as he struggled to come up with something to say. But he didn’t. 

With a soft exhale, she slouched on the stool and let her forehead fall to the countertop with a dull thud. She kept her eyes trained on the floor and sensed the way he shuffled awkwardly.

_ Am I really making him so uncomfortable? _

She brought her head up slowly again and rubbed the back of her neck. She couldn’t stand this anymore. She… needed to clear her head. She swivelled in the seat turning her back to Natsu and hopped off of it, dragging herself to the job request board. She missed his confused and frustrated gaze on her as he nervously twiddled his thumbs, urging himself to say something. 

She would have noticed that he had left the bar stool and was walking in her direction when he froze at the familiar scent. She would’ve seen him stiffen and glare at the door in annoyance. 

The guild doors opened and Lucy reflexively froze at the sight, pleasantly surprised.

“Hibiki!” she exclaimed, already walking towards him, eyes wide. 

“Hey, babe.” He met her half way, kissing her lips in form of greeting before grinning sheepishly, noting that she was turning pink at the use of the nickname. It amused him to no end that she still wasn’t used to it. “Um, you’ve been down for a few days now so… I thought I’d surprise you?” 

“Consider me surprised,” she said, chuckling lightly as she linked her arm through his. 

As she lea him to a table she remembered she’d been about to look for a job. A solo job. And then, she remembered why. Her mood soured instantly, as her gaze flickered to Natsu who was now standing against the bar counter watching them. He looked away when she caught his eye and struck up a conversation with Lisanna who had just appeared from the kitchen behind the bar. 

Hibiki followed her gaze and cleared his throat as the two of them sat down at a table. “He still giving you trouble?”

Lucy looked at him questioningly and Hibiki nodded towards Natsu. “You know, after… last time...”

Lucy grimaced, and shook her head. “No… It’s just… We fought again, that’s all.”

“Oh?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Besides, I still need to figure out my rent.”

_ Right. _

She straightened and looked at Hibiki apologetically. “I really need to leave for a job right away if I’m to make rent on time. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, tha’ts okay, Luce,” he said, kissing her temple, an arm wrapping around her shoulders. “Don’t be sorry, I get it. Rent money is important. Wouldn’t do not to have a roof over your head, would it?”

She sighed and turned to kiss him. “I’m really sorry, I promise I’ll make this upto you and-”

“Stop saying that,” he said, chiding her before, adding suddenly, “How about I just come with you?” His eyes gleaming with excitement, he continued hastily. “I know it’s a job for _ your _guild so I’ll just… come with you to keep company.”

She hesitated… She knew how Natsu felt about this stuff. He took being partners pretty seriously and she did not want to make things worse by doing something she knew he wouldn’t like. She may not necessarily agree, but she knew the high regard with which he held partnerships and teams. And she was taken by uncertainty again as she pondered what it would mean to their “fight” if she left on a job, not _ solo _, but with someone who wasn’t even part of the guild. 

Biting her lower lip, she looked up at Hibiki and looked over his shoulder to find Natsu, sure that he would have heard Hibiki’s proposition, hopeful that she’d see _ some _ indication or communication from him _ at least _now, if only to understand whether or not he would be okay with her leaving on the mission with someone else. 

But to her confusion, the stool Natsu had been sitting on moments ago was empty. The dragon slayer was gone and her gaze roved searchingly across the guild, just in time to see Lisanna leading a somewhat perplexed Natsu away and out of the guild. 

_ Damn it. _

She briefly contemplated just refusing Hibiki’s offer because she had to make sure that Natsu wouldn’t mind. She didn’t want to make things worse out of her own volition. But then again, it’d been two weeks. She’d waited around for two weeks, hoping he’d say something; he’d had plenty of opportunities to do so, but he hadn’t.

The battle in her head raged on, and she felt a headache coming on at her indecision as she weighed her options. Her hand automatically went upto her head and she rubbed at it exasperatedly. Sensing her distress, Hibiki’s hand closed around her wrist, and he tugged gently, making her look up at him.

“Hey, look, it’s alright, you can say no, Luce,” he said softly, but she heard the hesitant nervousness in his voice.

“What, no, no, I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head vehemently. “It’s not-”

“_ Really. _ No pressure, babe. I only asked because you’ve been upset. I hate seeing you so down,” he continued. “If you need some time by yourself, I-”

“It’s not that,” she said, cutting him off, taking her hand in his so she could draw patterns on it with her finger. “It’s just… I usually go on jobs with.. You know, my team? So it just feels a bit weird and I was only wondering if I should ask them first,” she said, her eyes roving around the guild one more time. “But… they’re nowhere around,” she trailed away with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“What will it take for you to stop apologizing,” he chuckled, kissing the tip of her nose. 

She looked at him sheepishly and he started to stand up, “Tell you what, I’ll make it easier for you. How about you just meet me at Blue Pegasus and-”

She caught his sleeve and tugged. “Wait!”

He looked at her questioningly and she shot to her feet. “Come with me.”

He still looked a little thoughtful. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” she said firmly. 

If Natsu, did mind he would have said something by now already, right? But instead, he’d just left the guild and didn’t even seem angry. It had to mean he didn’t mind. It stung, just a little bit, as she questioned once again if her words had really changed their friendship _ that much. _

But all said and done, hard fact was she needed the rent money and she had to leave today if she were to pay on time. As an added bonus, she’d get to spend time with Hibiki and if he wouldn’t actually be involved in the job itself, there would be no rules being broken really.

“What about your teammates?”

“Well, I guess I’ll just tell Mira to leave a message for them,” she said as both of them stood up. 

As Lucy went to tell Mira, Hibiki sifted through their job request board trying to find a job that paid perfectly. By the time she came back, he had picked one. She read the flyer and her eyes brightened when she saw the prize money. Flyer tucked in her pocket, the couple headed out to Lucy’s apartment to pack for two days of being away.

She found herself worrying again as the cold air hit her. She snuggled into Hibiki’s side as he kept a firm hold over her waist, letting her thoughts drift again.

_ What if this only upsets him more? _

_ Maybe he’ll _ ** _finally _ ** _ talk to me. _

_ Unless he doesn’t, ever again. _

_ Because he doesn’t care anymore. _

_ I’m an idiot. _

_ What if this just makes things worse? _

_ Unless he doesn’t care anymore. _

_ But how will I know if he won’t talk to me! _

She huffed, irritated that now she was once again stuck in a loop of questioning that she knew wouldn’t end. She found herself peeking at Hibiki’s face as they reached her apartment, looking a little thoughtful as he idly drummed his fingers against her waist. He felt her watching him and he looked at her questioningly. 

“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head, flushing slightly as she opened the door to her apartment.

“I need you to know you can talk to me,” he said quietly, eyes searching hers as he closed the door behind him. “About anything.”

“I know,” she said, smiling at him as she kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

She did know. She knew she could. But she couldn’t tell him; right now at least, the idea of telling him made her nervous about the questions it might bring up. She still didn’t feel ready for the questions that he was sure to ask. In some ways, she was worried that she’d be forced to lie if he asked too many questions, and she didn’t want that. She also didn’t want to think too deep about why she possibly felt the need to lie; that felt like treading on thin ice she’d so carefully and systematically frozen over.

* * *

Lucy arrived at the guild three days after having left for her job. She’d arrived late last night and had seen Hibiki off this morning. The two days away did help. She had her thoughts in order and she knew what had to be done. 

She was determined to talk to Natsu. Yes, she was afraid of how that conversation would go. But she needed to know, once and for all. She didn’t want to be on edge like this. She would talk to him and she knew exactly what to say. Of course, she’d start again with apology, and she’d beg him to talk to her if need be. At this point, all she cared about was knowing where they stood and if she had to confront him, then so be it. 

She stepped into the guild resolutely, eyes searching for a mop of pink hair. Realizing he hadn’t come in yet, she strode over to the bar counter, once again reciting her little speech in her head. 

“Hey, Lucy,” came a voice, snapping her out of her reverie, and her eyes found Lisanna, who was wiping dry some glasses. “How’d the job go?”

Lucy’s face brightened and she waved as she walked over to the corner Lisanna stood in to take a seat in front of her. 

“Surprisingly easy!” she laughed, placing her elbows on the counter.

“That’s good to hear,” said Lisanna, before leaning down to the fridge. “The usual?” she asked, hand going to the strawberry ice-cream. 

“Yes, please.” 

Lisanna shot Lucy a small smile and hurried off to make her milkshake. A small frown tugged on Lucy’s face as she started to notice how tired she looked. Her eyes were rimmed in red, but she looked a little exhausted. As she watched, Lisanna turned back to Lucy with a smile, walking towards her with a glass of the milkshake, pausing to throw in a straw. Lucy couldn’t help but notice that her eyes looked very troubled.

“Everything okay, Lisanna?” she asked hesitantly as Lisanna placed the milkshake in front of her. A part of her worried that Lisanna _ knew _but somehow, she doubted Natsu would’ve told her. But she worried anyway. 

Lisanna looked at Lucy, chewing her lower lip as Lucy watched her debate something in her head. Lucy waited patiently, albeit wary. With a final sigh, she looked at Lucy with her arms crossed.

“I’m fine, Lucy,” she said, waving her hands dismissively as she let out a light chuckle. “Just tired.”

Unconvinced, but not wanting to push too hard, Lucy looked around for Natsu, remembering the mission she’d set out on today.

“Say, where’s Natsu? It’s late afternoon and he isn’t in yet?”

“He left on a solo job the day before. He should be back in two days,” said Lisanna with a strained, but knowing smile. 

Lucy was stiff, blinking at Lisanna and prayed she’d say something else to elaborate; she didn’t want another thing on her list of things to overthink about. She wondered if she was imagining the awkwardness in the silence between them. 

But Lisanna smiled softly at Lucy, an emotion of what almost looked like sympathy in her eyes that she couldn’t quite fathom. She seemed to sense Lucy’s worry, and covered Lucy’s hand in hers. 

“Don’t worry, Lucy,” she said, kindly. “You can work it out when he comes back.”

Lucy blinked at Lisanna, shocked and started to shake her head, an apology on the tip of her tongue because there was _ no way _she didn’t know.

“How did you-”

“I don’t know what you fought about,” said Lisanna shaking her head. “But it was obvious you’ve been fighting. He hasn’t been himself lately.”

Lucy looked down guiltily. “I’m sorry. I-”

“Oh, shush,” said Lisanna, chuckling lightly. “You have nothing to apologize for. He was being a little unreasonable.” She paused, not noticing Lucy’s face settle into confusion. _ Unreasonable? What’s Lisanna Talking about? _

“Let’s just say I... knocked some sense into him,” Lisanna added, now looking a little rueful as she met Lucy’s questioning gaze. “He just had to… clear his head a little.”

Lucy clasped her hands in her lap, staring at them in confusion as she wondered what in the world Lisanna meant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of Part 1!!! I'll be posting a OneShot Interlude of sorts before Part 2 so the transition won't be too jarring!!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I hope it doesn't seem like an overreaction on Lucy's side. Remember that a lot of it is in her head and it's basically anxiety. Remember that she needs a moment of clarity regarding some feelings ;) I hope you're patient with this one. 
> 
> Thoughts?? Please leave reviews. I really appreciate those, thanks <3


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